I'm a monster, as well as a dwarf. You should charge me double.

Tyrion

Would it be excessive of me to ask you to save my life twice in a week?

Tyrion

My father is dead. And the only parent I have left has no right to call anyone reckless.

Robb

Any man dies with a clean sword, I'll rape his fu-king corpse!

Sandor (The Hound)

The gods have no mercy, that's why they're gods.

Cersei

Varys: I'm not entirely sure what you're suggesting.
Tyrion: I'm entirely sure, you're entirely sure, what I'm suggesting.

Varys: I've always hated the bells. They ring for horror, a dead king, a city under siege.
Tyrion: A wedding.
Varys: Exactly.

Sansa: What about the king?
Hound: He can die just fine on his own.

Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!

Tyrion

Tears aren't a woman's only weapon. The best one's between your legs.

Cersei

I much like my head. I don't want to see it removed just yet.

Tyrion

Shae: Some of those boys will never come back.
Sansa: Joffrey will. The worst ones always live.