Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 13: "A-Tisket, A-Tasket" Quotes
Lorelai: Every picture you ever see of people at a picnic they are eating on the ground.
Luke: And every time I see a picture of people having a picnic on the ground I think "What the hell are you people doing eating on the ground? Get up...get some beach chairs you cheap skates!"
While having their picnic at the lake
Rory: Wow a place in Stars Hollows that you actually like!
Jess: Yeah I have some good memories of this place. See over there, that's where Luke pushed me in!
Luke: Who did you want to get your basket?
Lorelai: What?
Luke: I mean, before you knew Patty was gonna put you on the Dating Game, you did pack this disgusting lunch and bring it out here, so who did you want to get it?
Lorelai: Well, last year Roy Wilkins bought it and I got my sprinklers fixed for half price.
Luke: Uh huh.
Lorelai: And this year my rain gutters are completely clogged, and I thought if I could get the Collins kid to bite, I'd get that taken care of.
Luke: Very practical.
Lorelai: I thought so.
Luke: So the participation in this thing was purely for home improvement reasons?
Lorelai: Yes. And I don't know, it's a nice concept.
Luke: What is?
Lorelai: Just having someone who you love or have some kind of crazy crush on bid on your basket and then share a romantic lunch, it's a nice concept.
Luke: Well, I'm sure someday you'll manage to find the right guy and drag him out to this thing and make him by your stupid basket and then you'll be sitting out here with him.
Lorelai: Yeah, someday.
Luke: You know what?
Lorelai: What?
Luke: This is nice.
(After Luke has succesfully bid on Lorelai's basket)
Lorelai: You rock!
Luke: Thank you.
Lorelai: You're welcome.
Luke: So what do we do now?
Lorelai: I guess we eat.
Luke: This?
Lorelai: Yeah.
Luke: First I have to buy it, then I have to eat it?
Lorelai: Hey, the basket of botulism does come with my company.
Luke: Huh. You don't eat with your mouth open do you?
Lorelai: Women don't eat at all. We just look at food and jump on the treadmill.
Luke: All right, let's go.
Rory: Why are you only nice to me?
Jess: Excuse me?
Rory: An hour ago you were totally screwing with Dean and now you're totally nice to me.
Jess: You see, it's the screwing with Dean that's an important step to getting here so that I can be nice to you.
(Lorelai and Luke are about to have a picnic after Luke bought her picnic basket)
Lorelai: Hey, where are you going?
Luke: I am going to the diner, I'm going to get us some edible food, and I'm gonna bring it back here for us to eat!
Lorelai: That is so not the point of today. I made this. I'm insulted. I will now proceed to pout.
Luke: I'll bring back some brownies.
Lorelai: Ooh, the pouting has left the building.
(Dean walks away after fighting with Rory)
Rory: Please, don't walk away like that!
Dean: Sorry, I'd do a silly walk, but I'm not felling very John Cleese right now!
Henry: Hello?
Lane: Hello, Henry?
Henry: Lane! I've been trying to call you!
Lane: I know! The pay phone is broken!
Henry: I thought the number was wrong and I didn't know what to do! So I
Lane: What? You what?
Henry: I called your house and your mother answered.
Lane: What did you say?
Henry: I asked for you, and then she asked why and I said because, and she said because why, and then I got nervous and tried to sell her a subscription of the Wall Street Journal.
Lane: Oh! Were you successful?
Jackson: I think we should get married.
Sookie: But - uh, but...
Jackson: Soon.
Sookie: Are you pregnant?
Dean: Rory, don't go.
Jess: Well, geez man. She's not shipping off to 'Nam.
(Jess walks up behind them)
Jess: I gotta tell you, of all the nutty barn raising shindigs this town can cook up, this one wasn't half bad.
Dean: Glad you enjoyed it.
Jess: Yes I did. So shall we?
Dean: Shall we what?
Jess: Shall we go?
Dean: Go where?
Jess: Go eat.
Dean: Excuse me?
Jess: The person who buys the basket wins the company of the person who makes the basket for lunch. Basket, basket maker, guy who didn't bring enough money.
Dean: You think this is funny.
Jess: Well, it's no Lenny Bruce routine but it has its moments.
(Lorelai bursts into the diner)
Lorelai: Luke! Where is he, where is he? I need him! Caesar, where is - agh, agh, thank God. Hey, hey, you gotta come with me.
Luke: What are you doing? Hey hey, I got plates here!
Lorelai: Put the burgers down. Caeser, you're in charge.
Luke: Now wait.
Lorelai: Do you have money? I need money. (starts pushing the buttons of th register) Which one opens this thing? Is it that one, not that one.
Luke: Stop messing with that.
Lorelai: Luke, you gotta come out there with me. Patty gave my picture out to all these guys because she thinks I need a man.
Luke: You do, one with a nice couch and a deep knowledge of Freud.
Lorelai: You have to come out and bid on my basket.
Luke: Are you serious?
Lorelai: Yes.
Luke: I have never in my life taken part in one of these crazy group flip outs. I'm not about to start now.
Lorelai: But - right now - out there the -.
Luke: Just buy your own basket.
Lorelai: I cannot buy my own basket.
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Because that is pathetic.
Luke: And chasing me around my diner begging me to buy your basket?
Lorelai: Also pathetic. But that is a pathetic I can live with, where that pathetic is a truly pathetic pathetic, and only you can save me from the double pathetic! Please!
Luke: I can't believe I'm doing this.
