Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Rory: (wearing her Chilton skirt) Mom, so what do you think?
Sookie: Wow, it makes you look smart.
Rory: Okay, no more wine for you. (to Lorelai) Mom?
Lorelai: You look like you were swallowed by a kilt.
Rory: Fine, you could hem it. A little, only a little.
Lorelai: Okay. Or I could hem it a lot.
Rory: No, you're not. I don't want it to be too short.
Sookie: Okay, can I say one more thing? I think it's your only option.
Lorelai: Sookie, there are several chapters from a Stephen King novel I'd reenact before I'd resort to that option.
(on the phone) But she's supposed to start Monday. It just doesn't give me a lot of time to pull a bank job. (pause) Well, never mind. I was just kidding. (pause) No, a bank job is robbing a bank.
Lorelai
Rory: (when she sees the Chilton skirt) I'm gonna be in a Britney Spears video?
Sookie: You're going to Chilton! (Lorelai smacks her arm) Sorry.
Lorelai: You did it babe. You got in.
Rory: How did this happen? You didn't sleep with the principal did you?
Lorelai: No honey, that was a joke.
Rory: You know, it sucks that after all these years your mom still hates me.
Lane: She doesn't hate you.
Rory: She hates my mother.
Lane: She doesn't trust unmarried women.
Rory: You're unmarried.
Lane: I'm hayriding with a future proctologist. I have potential.
Lane: Koreans never joke about future doctors. So, I guess you're not going, huh?
Rory: No, I'm still fuzzy on what's fun about sitting in the cold for two hours with a bundle of sticks up your butt.
Rory: Don't expect me to clear it up for you.
Lorelai: What's with the muumuu?
Rory: Stop.
Lorelai: No, I'm just saying. You couldn't find one made of metal, in case anyone has x-ray eyes?
Rory: And now we say goodbye.
Michel: (to Lorelai while Rory's looking for stamps) What is your offspring doing?
Rory: I need stamps, can I have these?
Michel: No.
Lorelai: Take them.
Lorelai: Has the plumber attended to Room 4 yet?
Michel: He was here. He did nothing. It's $100.
(on the phone) Madame, you have no idea how desperately I'd like to help, but see, I'd have to build a room for you myself and I'm not a man who works with his hands.
Michel
(after leaving Emily and Richard's house)
Lorelai: Do I look shorter? 'Cause I feel shorter.
Rory: Hey, how about I buy you a cup of coffee.
Lorelai: Oh yeah. You drive though. Ok? 'Cause I don't think my feet will reach the pedals.
Dean: So, how are you liking Moby Dick?
Rory: Oh, it's really good.
Dean: Yeah?
Rory: Yeah, it's my first Melville.
Dean: Cool.
Rory: I mean, I know it's kind of clich to pick Moby Dick as your first Melville but hey, how did you know I was reading Moby Dick?
Dean: Uh, well, I've been watching you.
Rory: Watching me?
Dean: I mean, not in a creepy, like, "I'm watching you" sort of way. I just - I've noticed you.
Rory: Me?
Dean: Yeah.
Rory: When?
Dean: Every day. After school you come out and you sit under that tree there and you read. Last week it was Madame Bovary. This week it's Moby Dick.
Rory: But why would you
Dean: Because you're nice to look at, and because you've got unbelievable concentration.
Rory: What?
Dean: Last Friday these two guys were tossing around a ball and one guy nailed the other right in the face. I mean, it was a mess, blood everywhere, the nurse came out, the place was in chaos, his girlfriend was all freaking out, and you just sat there and read. I mean, you never even looked up. I thought, "I have never seen anyone read so intensely before in my entire life. I have to meet that girl."
Rory: Maybe I just didn't look up because I'm unbelievably self-centered.
Dean: Maybe, but I doubt it.
Rory: So did I ask you if you like cake?
Dean: Yeah, ya did.
Rory: Oh, because they have really good cake back there. (Dean laughs)
