Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 6: "Rory's Birthday Parties" Quotes
Emily: (About Rory) I spent days planning this party, making sure everything was perfect. Making sure the food, the music, the guests, everything was perfect. And she humiliated me in front of my friends.
Lorelai: You don't know her! You've never tried to know her! Like you never tried to know me!
Emily: Oh, you'd like to think that, wouldn't you? I know you perfectly. Do you think I sit going "Why does Lorelai do this? Or that? I don't know. She's such a mystery to me."
Lorelai: That's it. I give up.
Emily: Oh, if I had a dollar for every time you gave up-
Lorelai: (In tears) You could pay for this party, couldn't you?
(Lorelai and Rory are in Lorelai's room in Emily's house)
Rory: I guess I should go downstairs and apologize to Grandma.
Lorelai: Oh, give it a minute...
Emily:(appearing in doorway) There you are!
Lorelai: She'll find us.
Luke: That's the wrong table.
Rory: Since when is there a right table?
Luke: Since the coffee cake I baked for you and the stupid balloons I blew up for you are at that table over there.
Sookie: Hangover?
Lorelai: Emily.
Sookie: Oh. Got it, moving on.
Lorelai: Emily Gilmore, you can set your watch by her. Although you know what she did do last night?
Sookie: Wore jeans?
Lorelai: Served pudding.
Sookie: I was close.
Lorelai: I mean, I'm sure it was some expensive form of pudding, but nonetheless it was pudding!
Sookie: That is amazing!
Lorelai: Right?! That would mean that she actually made a mental note that we like pudding, which would mean she listens to something other than the judgmental conga line going on in her head, and got over the fact that to her, pudding is hospital food and is only acceptable when you've just had a vital organ ripped out of your body.
Sookie: Wow, that's some journey she had to take, there.
Jackson: (comes running into the kitchen and says to Lorelai) Open your mouth and close your eyes.
Lorelai: Who are you talking to?
Jackson: Right. Sorry (runs to Sookie). Open your mouth and close your eyes.
Sookie: Okay. (opens her mouth and closes her eyes).
Jackson: Now get ready for something truly amazing.
Sookie: Mmmmmmmm! Yeah!
Jackson: Huh?
Lorelai: What is it?!
Sookie: I don't know. It's like a--
Jackson: A what?
Sookie: It's like a berry, but way more exotic.
Jackson: Yes! Good!
Lorelai: Jackson, have you been having reactions to your fertilizer fumes again?
Lorelai: And, it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time many moons ago I was lying in exactly this same position...
Rory: Oh, boy. Here we go...
Lorelai: ...only I had a huge fat stomach and big fat ankles and I was swearing like a sailor...
Rory: ...on leave...
Lorelai: ...on leave! Right! And, there I was...
Rory: ...in labor...
Lorelai: ...and, while some have called it, the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite.
Rory: I wonder if the Waltons ever did this.
Lorelai: And, I was screaming and swearing, and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me.
Rory: There wasn't.
Lorelai: But, the pelting the nurses sure was fun.
Emily: Could you be serious? We're shopping for Rory.
Lorelai: No Mom, I'm shopping for Rory, you are shopping for your imaginary granddaughter, Barbara Hutton.
Tristan: Oh, coming to greet me?
Rory: Hello, Tristan.
Tristan: Where's my birthday kiss?
Rory: It's my birthday.
Tristan: So I'll give you a birthday kiss.
Rory: What is wrong with you?
Tristan: Okay, I gotta tell you something. I'm madly in love with you.
Rory: Well...good luck with that.
Tristan: I can't eat, I can't sleep...I wake up in the middle of the night calling out your name. Rory...Rory!
Richard: Rory! Who's your friend?
Rory: I don't know, but this is Tristan.
Luke: She's not here yet.
Lorelai: Alright. Well, you'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Okay, Burgerboy! Dance!
Luke: Will you marry me?
Lorelai: (stares agasp) What?
Luke: Just...looking for something to shut you up.
Emily: Tomorrow our lawyer, Joseph Stanford, is coming by.
Lorelai: Ugh. Crazy Sissy's dad.
Emily: That's terrible. Sissy was a good friend of yours.
Lorelai: Mom, Sissy talked to her stuffed animals and they answered her.
Rory: Mom's famous for her blowouts.
Lorelai: The best one was her eighth birthday.
Rory: Oh yeah, that was good.
Lorelai: The cops shut us down.
Luke: The cops shut down an eight year old's birthday party?
Rory: And arrested the clown.
