Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 4: "The Deer Hunters" Quotes
Lorelai: Sweetie you're never gonna find the deer.
Rory: Well I'm gonna try.
Lorelai: Well I'm in heels!
Rory: Well stay in the car.
Lorelai: It's dangerous in the car with all the kamikaze deer running around...
(getting out of the car)
Rory: I have to find it.
Lorelai: Alright, wait up! So what does the deer look like? Huh? Does it have any distinguishing marks - besides the word 'Jeep' imprinted on it's forehead?
Rory: I'm not stubborn.
Lorelai: Yes you are.
Rory: No I'm not.
Lorelai: Fine, you're not.
Rory: Thank you.
Max: I apologize for the behavior of some of our guests tonight, it's a tough time for some people.
Lorelai: The SAT season...?
Max: The waking hours.
(Drella is playing the intro to Iron Man on the harp)
Lorelai: No Black Sabbath.
Drella: No one is listening.
Lorelai: No Black Sabbath, no Steely Dan, no Boston and no Queen.
Drella: What happened to make you so cold?
Lorelai: We like that Mozart. (heads towards the kitchen)
Drella: I am the Artie Shaw of harpists.
Lorelai: But see, she was up all night studying, and she broke her neck to get here. We don't live locally, as you know--
Headmaster Charleston: "The dog ate my homework, my computer crashed."
Lorelai: I wasn't trying to make excuses.
Headmaster Charleston: "My grandmother and first cousin died. My sister took my report to school instead of hers. My religion forbids me from studying after sundown. I went completely blind last night, but I'm fine now."
Lorelai: That's not Rory.
Headmaster Charleston: Ms. Gilmore, everything you said in your rant was true--without the colorful embellishments, of course. We do set high standards, and such standards do foster highly competitive children. However, that is life, and that is Chilton.
Lorelai: Rules can change. You can change them.
Headmaster Charleston: I told your daughter when she came here that this place is not for everyone and may not be for her. I will now tell you the same thing.
Headmaster Charleston: She doesn't have to be here. She doesn't have to go to Harvard. Maybe she shouldn't. If she can't handle the pressure, she should leave. You need to take your daughter home now and decide what it is you intend to do. But another outburst from either of you will not be on the options list. Thank you, that will be all.
Mr. Medina: Lorelai, please believe me. If there was anything I could do, I would.
Lorelai: Yes, you could let her take the test.
Mr. Medina: I'm afraid I can't.
Lorelai: But that's not fair!
Headmaster Charleston: Ms. Gilmore, we are not here to be fair. We are here to educate.
Lorelai: Yes, and I'm asking you to please educate my kid!
Headmaster Charleston: We will, when she's on time.
Paris: (to Madeline about Rory) Loser.
Rory: (to Paris) And just what is wrong with you? You already have everything! You have the grades, the status--what the hell is wrong with you that you have this constant need to be the biggest jerk in the entire world?
Mr. Medina: Okay, let's go.
Rory: Huh? What's up? What's up, quippy? Why so silent?
Mr. Medina: Outside, now!
Rory: (to Tristin) And for the last time, THE NAME IS RORY!
Tristan: Hey Mary!
Rory: (says with disdain after receiving her first D grade) And it just keeps getting better.
Tristan: You look sad.
Rory: I'm fine.
Tristan: Bad grade?
Rory: I have to go.
Tristan: You know what, Mary? See, I just can't figure out why we're not friends. I think it's because I make you nervous.
Rory: I think it's because you can't learn my name.
Tristan: Do you have a boyfriend?
Rory: None of your business.
Tristan: Was that a no?
Rory: Is there no one else at this school you can bother?
Tristan: I think you like me, you just don't know how to say it.
Rory: Ooh boy.
Tristan: So what are you doing Friday night?
Rory: I'm busy.
Tristan: What, you gotta be back at the convent by five?
Rory: Please leave me alone.
Tristan: WELL, since you said please (backs away from her as she walks away). Later. Mary!
Lorelai: How much longer are we gonna look for this crazy deer?
Rory: Just a little further. I just hope he didn't hurt himself.
Lorelai: I just hope he has insurance.
Lorelai: I'll still love you even if you can't support me in my old age in the fabulous manner to which I plan on growing accustomed.
Rory: I'll remember that selfless gesture.
Rory: (enters Mrs. Kim's) Lane?
Lane: Go to the left! (Rory almost runs into Mrs. Kim)
Lane: Sorry, I meant my left. Your right!
Rory: This isn't working! Marco!
Rory: (walking around) Marco!
Rory: (finds Lane) Hello, Marco!
Lane: Hello, Polo!