Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 4: "The Deer Hunters" Quotes
(Paris, Madeline, and Louise are walking behind Rory talking about her "D")
Paris: A "D," however, that would be cause for concern.
Louise: A cry for help.
Paris: A job application at McDonald's.
Louise: "Would you like fries with that?"
Paris: Hey, you know, not everybody can be smart. As my mother always says, "somebody has to answer the phones."
Madeline: Okay, I have no idea what you two are talking about.
Paris: No, but Rory does.
Lorelai: You need three highlighters?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: Three?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: That's a very random number.
Rory: Three is not a random number.
Lorelai: I mean, how did you get to the number three?
Rory: One dries up, one gets lost, I have one left.
Lorelai: You've really thought this out.
Rory: Yes, I have.
Lorelai: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Sweetie, Mommy can't get up right now. Mommy's been sleeping at a right angle all night
Lorelai
Lorelai: News is on.
Rory: One sec.
Lorelai: (to herself) For our top story tonight, a grisly horrible thing that happened in a small town where no grisly horrible things ever happen. Everyone's shocked. House slides down hill. Liposuction kills, stay fat.
Lorelai: (to Max) And you! You say she's smart and she'll be fine and this rotting stodgy rathole could use somebody like her and then you completely shut her out of a test that she's crammed for, that she's ready for, that she completely deserves to take!
Max: (to the Headmaster) I didn't call this place a 'rathole.'
Lorelai: Oh no that's true. I added that. Wouldn't want you to get in trouble with 'Il duce' here.
Rory: Thanks though.
Lorelai: For what?
Rory: For yelling at the Headmaster the way you did.
Lorelai: Oh, I didn't yell at him.
Rory: You called him 'il duce'!
Lorelai: Which means 'kind sir' in Cantonese.
Headmaster Charleston: My goodness. You do like to throw fits in your family.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Headmaster Charleston: Your daughter threw a similar if not as manic fit of her own this morning.
Lorelai: Oh please. Rory doesn't throw fits. She's the most even tempered person I know.
Headmaster Charleston: Well then she did a lovely impression of you!
I guess this goes on the "boy, was I wrong" list, right above gauchos but just below the Flashdance phase.
</i> Lorelai
It's us, we're not here, we have a life, get over it.
Lorelai's Answering Machine
(after Rory got a "D" and didn't tell Lorelai about it)
Lorelai: You should have told me...
Rory: I couldn't
Lorelai: You couldn't tell me? You tell me everything!
Rory: It was too humiliating.
Lorelai: Aw, honey. You once told me you loved Saved By The Bell.... What could be more humiliating than that?
Rory: A "D" at Stars Hollow High is like an "F" at Chilton. It's worse. It's like a "G" ... or a "W".
Lorelai: So I'm guessing the spelling test didn't go well either?
I hate when I'm an idiot and I don't know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy, to really revel in it, take pictures. I feel we missed a prime Christmas card opportunity.
Lorelai
