Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 8: "The Ins and Outs of Inns" Quotes
Lorelai: I just flat out panicked about the enormity of what we were getting into and it clobbered me, and I clobbered Sookie, and I was such a jerk. Hey, if I cry, will it freak you out?
Luke: Totally.
Lorelai: What if I whimper?
Luke: How about you suck it up?
Lorelai: Hmm, I'll try.
Luke: I don't get it. You're as ready as you've ever been.
Lorelai: Oh Luke, do not underestimate the complete and total lack of confidence I have in my abilities.
Luke: What? You're the most confident person I know. Obnoxiously so.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Luke: I mean in a good way. You're good at what you do and you know it.
Lorelai: Oh, no, no, no. I'm good at doing what I have to do. When I had to get a job, I got it. When I had to find a house for us and a life for us, I got it. When I had to get Rory into Chilton, I did it. But I don't have to leave the Independence Inn. I don't have to go into business for myself, I don't have to walk out on that limb and risk everything I've worked for.
Luke: Then do it.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Just stay where you are.
Lorelai: What is this, reverse psychology?
Luke: No, just stay at the inn. You're happy there.
Lorelai: Oh, so you think I can't hack it.
Luke: Of course you can hack it.
Lorelai: Great, lip service, that's what I need.
Luke: Hey, if I start to cry, will that freak you out?
Lorelai: Ugh. I couldn't stay where I am if I wanted. Mia is selling the inn. And that hit me hard too, maybe harder than the other thing. I'm gonna be without a home.
Luke: What do you mean? This is your home.
Lorelai: No, I mean a home home. A memory home. The inn is where Rory took her first step. It's where I took my first step. It's more of a home to me more than my parents' house ever was.
Luke: You're just scared. Just like everybody else when they're taking on something big.
Lorelai: Well, then what does everybody else do to get through this feeling?
Luke: They run in the back, throw up, pass out and then smack their head on the floor.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: That's what I did on the first morning I opened the diner. Look, there is no button to push to get you through this. You just gotta jump in and be scared and stick with it until it gets fun.
Lorelai: How long 'til the diner got fun?
Luke: About a year.
Lorelai: Wow. And there's no button?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: How about a lever, can I pull a lever?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: Turn a knob?
Luke: Nope.
Lorelai: You just jump?
Luke: You just jump.
Lorelai: I wanna do it.
Luke: You should do it.
(At the town's meeting concerning the "Jess situation")
Luke: I've never bothered anyone. I've kept to myself and I've done the best I could. I pay my taxes, and I help people when I can. I haven't pitched in on the decorative pageantry town stuff because it all seems insane to me, but I don't get in the way of that stuff either.
Taylor: What's your point, Luke?
Lorelai: His point is(to Luke) Do you mind?
Luke: Be my guest.
Lorelai: His point is, that if there's a problem
Luke: And I'm not saying there's a problem.
Lorelai: Right, he's not saying there is a problem, but if there it, give him time to deal with it before you storm his diner with torches and pitchforks.
Luke: Right. What I'm dealing with, being a problem, that I don't necessarily agree that I even have.
Lorelai: Right.
Taylor: I didn't get that last part.
Lorelai: Lay off him because what you're all doing stinks.
Mia: Nice to see you Lucas.
Luke: You're the only person in the world who can call me that, Mia.
Mia: I know this.
Luke: I'm saying it for others who plan to try it later.
Lorelai: Whatever Lucas.
Rory: Mom, you're not writing what you purchased on the back of any of the inn's credit cards receipts.
Lorelai: Oh well, just put cooking spray and sponges.
Rory: OK and when an auditor wants to know why you need such large amounts of cooking spray and sponges?
Lorelai: Then I drop my pencil and I put the scoop neck sweater that I'm now making a mental note to wear to good use.
Rory: Well at least you've got a solid well thought out plan.
Emily: Three painters started, and they all three quit.
Rory: Why did they quit?
Emily: She wouldn't stop scowling.
Lorelai: I was going for a Billy Idol thing.
Emily: The one from Italy had some sort of breakdown.
Rory: Oh my God.
Lorelai: Hey, it didn't hurt Van Gogh, the guy should thank me.
Emily: A year later, I swear I saw him rummaging through our recyclables.
Taylor: Another person witnessed Jess walking out of an arts-and-crafts store two days ago with what appeared to be chalk.
Luke: You appear to be bugging me, Taylor.
Taylor: So what are you going to do about it, Luke?
Luke: About what?
Taylor: About the results of my investigaion!
Luke: Absolutely nothing, but thanks for the info.
Taylor: You have to do something! People want action.
Luke: People? Meaning you.
Taylor: Not just me. I speak for the Stars Hollow Business Association, the Stars Hollow Tourist Board, the Stars Hollow Neighborhood Watch Organization, and the Stars Hollow Citizens for a Clean Stars Hollow Council.
Luke: All of which are you!
Taylor: So are you going to act?
Luke: Yes, I am. I'm going to act like you never came in here.
Taylor: Fine, have it your own way. But I warn you there's gonna be a lot of unhappy people at the S.H.B.A., the S.H.T.B., the S.H.N.W.O., and the S.H.C.C.S.H.C.!
Luke: F-I-N-E!
Mia: And there was that year you wore the same shirt everywhere you went.
Luke: I don't remember that.
Lorelai: Must have been something flannel.
Mia: No, it was from that TV show, that famous one.
Luke: It's not important.
Mia: Star Trek, that's it!
Luke: Jess, this is Mia. She owns the Independence Inn.
Jess: Oh.
Luke: That's "hello, nice to meet you" in slacker.
Mia: Michel, how nice to see you. Oh and look at that suit! You are quite the dandy, aren't you?
Michel: Well, I had a feeling that a lovely woman was going to be visiting today so I decided I must look my best for her.
Mia: I'm sorry, honey, I didn't catch a word of that.
Rory: He said he missed you.
Mia: You've been in the U.S. for quite some time Michel, your enunciation, should really be better by now.
Michel: The customers seem to understand me just fine.
Mia: I didn't get that either. Did you get the tapes I sent you?
Lorelai: (to Michel) Hey, maybe you should hit the desk. There are a couple of people looking for help.
Michel: Right away. Mia, I... (he salutes and walks off)
Mia: (to Lorelai and Rory) Are you too busy to sneak off with me for a walk?
Rory: Not if it's okay with the boss.
Mia: It's a demand at this point.
Lorelai: Let's go. Michel, hold down the fort.
Michel: Oh, it's a little slow now, so it's no problem.
Rory: (to Mia) Oh, he says that he's never liked and you and that you're a problem.
Michel: I said no such thing!
Mia: I don't know where this hostility comes from! Can we work this out?
Michel: There is nothing to work out.
Rory: He told you to get out!
Michel: I did not!
Mia: I don't know what I did to make him hate me.
Rory: You were a Trekkie?
Luke: I was not a Trekkie.
Lorelai: Oh. Oh, I do believe denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the prime directive.
Rory: Indubitably, Captain.
Emily: Akron.
Rory: Ohio?
Lorelai: Get out of here!
Emily: I will not get out of here.
Lorelai: No Mom, I didn't mean really get out of here, I mean
Rory: Why is Grandpa in Akron?
Emily: I don't know.
Lorelai: It was just a saying.
Emily: They sent him to deal with some problem with their local office down there.
Lorelai: A saying, you know, like 'save me' or 'get me out of here'. Things like that.
Emily: Lorelai, would you like me to put a mirror in front of you so you can look at yourself while you have this conversation?
Lorelai: Aha!
Luke: Geez! Don't sneak up on me like that.
Lorelai: Yeah, boy, I was lucky you had your phasers on stun, huh?
Rory: Well, at least we're not late. Luke's never late.
Luke: Actually, we're two minutes early.
Rory: Ha! We should get a prize for being on time.
Lorelai: Hey Luke, let's go back to the diner and get some pie as our reward for being on time.
Luke: Then you'd be late.
Lorelai: A funny conundrum, but I want pie.
Luke: You're harassing me now.
Lorelai: I'm not harassing you. We're your groupies. (in high-pitched voice) Oh Luke, you're so dreamy, be my guy!
Rory: (in high-pitched voice) No, be my guy!
Luke: I'm bringing up the need for more police protection at this thing.
