Rory: I wish I could figure out a way to get Paris off my back.
Lorelai: Yeah, angry chicks are the worst. When I was in high school I had a Paris.
Rory: Yeah?
Lorelai: Yeah, she was horrible.
Rory: How'd you get rid of her?
Lorelai: I got pregnant and dropped out.

Lorelai: Hey, guys, I have an idea. What about, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you know, when I go to Hartford for my business class, what if Lane comes along, and you guys can shop and study and join a cult and shave your heads?
Lane: Really?
Lorelai: All except the shaving your heads part.
Lane: Oh, no. What time is it?
Rory: 6:30.
Lane: I'm late for dinner.
Lorelai: Again? Lane, you mother is gonna kill me if I keep sending you home fed and happy.
Lane: I'm sorry. But she found a website that sells tofu in bulk.
Lorelai: Oh, you're kidding, right?
Lane: Yesterday, she went out and bought a bigger fridge.
Lorelai: Boy, now, your life is scary.

Lorelai: She'll be taking the bus.
Emily: I know. I hate that she takes the bus. Drug dealers take the bus.

Elderly Woman: Oh, excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where we can find the best antiques?
Michel: At your house, I'd guess.

Lorelai: Mom, I already bought Rory two skirts.
Emily: What if she gets one dirty?
Lorelai: Then she'll wear the other one.
Emily: What if she gets them both dirty?
Lorelai: Well, then we'll use this newfangled thing called a washing machine. The town just chipped in and bought one. My turn's Tuesday.

Emily: But there are five days in a school week.
Lorelai: Really? Are you sure? Because my days-of-the-week underwear only go to Thursday.

Oh, ladies, what do I see? Naked girls. No, no, keep those leotards on. This is not Brazil.

Patty

Visualize, ladies. It's a Thanksgiving Day Parade. You're standing on Fifth Avenue. There's a hundred beautiful boys marching in place behind you. And there you are. You are out in front with your fabulous legs and your perfect tush. Your baton is on fire, and the crowd goes nuts! Okay, cookie time.

Patty

Lorelai: I had a plan, damn it.
Luke: Me, too. Next time you're getting tea.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

(glances at her fuzzy clock) This is the last time I buy anything just because it's furry.

Lorelai

Michel: Once again, your faithful pooch is here to say: Please come back to the desk. Someone needs to talk with you.
Lorelai: It's not my mother, is it?
Michel: It's possible.
(Lorelai turns to see the man she met at Chilton standing at the front desk
Lorelai: It's possible?
Michel: There's a resemblance.