(picking dance partners for Lorelai)
Luke: What about that one?
Lorelai: Hum not!
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Too pale
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: Pale means sickly.
Luke: Or sunscreen.
Lorelai: Or mad cows disease!
Luke: Pale does not mean mad cows disease!
Lorelai: Have you ever had mad cows disease?
Luke: Just twice last week and and my color was wonderful.

But I already put him in my revenge notebook.

Paris

Lorelai: Have you seen Sookie or Jackson?
Luke: No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be.

Lorelai: My shoe broke! I need you to fix it!
Luke: Do I look like a cobbler to you?
Lorelai: If I say yes, will you fix my shoe?

Rory: Dean, please. This is a girl thing.
Dean: Okay. Tell me when I'm supposed to pay attention again.

Rory: There's this big event happening in my town.
Paris: Pig race?
Rory: Dance marathon.
Paris: I was close.

Rory: I can't even open my eyes.
Lorelai: That okay, there's nothing to see. Kirk's in a Speedo, Taylor's in a skirt, Al's in assless chaps.
Rory: Oh my God, stop! I'm never gonna be able to close my eyes again.

Luke: I think I have some glue back at the diner.
Lorelai: Glue, yes - we love glue!
Luke: I wouldn't say that too loudly if I were you.

Sookie: But, you're my best friend.
Lorelai: Yes, I am, and I can only remain your best friend as long as Jackson doesn't kill me.
Sookie: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Sookie, he's a produce man. They'll never find the body, but the squash'll be especially chatty that year.

Michel: And you must always be extremely careful of your paddle movements.
Lorelai: Well, that certainly calls for a 'Dirty!'

Michel: Always. You've got to be patient and wait for what you want to appear, then pounce.
Lorelai: Hm, true at an auction, true at a singles bar.

Luke: (Looks at the breast feeding lady) This cannot be sanitary.
Lorelai: You're right you don't know where those things have been.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

Luke: (getting her coffee) Do you want to know what this stuff does to your central nervous system?
Lorelai: Ooh, do you have a chart? 'Cause I love charts.
Luke: Forget it, kill yourself.

Rory: Okay, that's a good idea. But, if we went with that, we'd actually have to build a robot.
Madeline: Yes we would.
Rory: And who knows how to do that?
Madeline: I don't know. (points to Brad) He looks like he should know!
Brad: I've never built a robot!
Louise: (leans over toward him) But you've tried haven't you?
Brad: Yes I have.