Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes
(the morning after the dinner fiasco with Lorelai's and Christopher's parents)
Christopher: Lor?
Lorelai: What?
Christopher: I want to marry you.
Lorelai: And the hits just keep on coming.
(to Christopher) And to top off the whole fabulous fiasco, I stood up a friend of mine who was counting on me and - and he just stood there looking hurt with the paint and the chairs and it hurt me. And it's not your fault but in this parade of stupid and dumb, I am the one twirling the flaming baton!
Lorelai
Christopher: And you brought up Bush because...
Lorelai: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Christopher: (on phone with Emily) Well, I'm actually sitting here with your girls. (hands the phone to Lorelai) She wants to speak to you.
Lorelai: Mm. Hi Mom.
Emily: Lorelai, Christopher's in town!
Lorelai: (gasps) What?! I didn't know! Although, coincidently I'm sitting across from an amazing Christopher hologram.
Lorelai: My father almost hit someone. My father has probably only hit another man in college, wearing boxing gloves and one of those Fred Mertz golden gloves pullover sweaters.
Christopher: Fred Mertz?
Lorelai: I Love Lucy - Fred Mertz.
Christopher: Landlord to Ricki, husband to Ethel, I know. It's just a weird reference.
Lorelai: (pointing at the pajamas, she's wearing) Hello, pajamas.
Emily: You remember Straub and Francine don't you?
Lorelai: Oh, yes, the Schnickelfritzes.
Emily: The who?
Lorelai: (rolls eyes) The Haydens.
Lorelai: You remember Rory. You haven't seen her in quite a while.
Straub: No, we haven't.
Francine: I think she was just beginning to speak in complete sentences.
Lorelai: So not for two years, then! (long, awkward pause, nobody laughs) I....she's obviously been talking a long time, so I was making a humorous comment sometimes referred to as a joke.
Straub: I see you haven't changed, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, not at all.
Emily: You usually knock.
Lorelai: Not since you gave us a key.
Emily: That is for emergencies.
Lorelai: Well mom, I'm starving to death. Is that enough of an emergency for you?
Christopher: I can be a family man. I'm responsible now.
Lorelai: Honey, you can't even buy a book without having your credit card declined.
Christopher: I told Rory not to rat me out. I can't believe she did that!
Lorelai: She didn't. Andrew from the bookstore called, and Jackson, and the UPS guy, and ooh, it was the lead story on the Stars Hollow web page. Then I asked Rory, and she very reluctantly confirmed it. "Rat me out". What are you, 16?
Christopher: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me, anyway?
Christopher: She's my daughter, too.
Lorelai: More like your playmate!
Emily: Straub is actually a good man. Very smart. He was one of the top lawyers in his field, a very arcane aspect of International law. And he's always been so active in his community. His charity work has never diminished over the years. (she pauses) Oh let's face it - he's a big ass. [Rory laughs] Rory, I know you heard a lot of talk about various disappointments this evening and I know you've heard a lot of talk about it in the past. But I want to make this very clear - you, young lady, your person and your existence have never ever been - not even for a second -included in that list. Do you understand me?
Rory: Yeah, I do.
Rory: How's Diane?
Christopher: Diane is ancient history.
Rory: When I met her at Easter, you said she could be the one.
Christopher: The one to be gone by Memorial Day.
Rory: You're worse than Mom.
Lorelai: Low blow!
Christopher: Can't keep a feller happy?
Lorelai: Oh, I keep them happy. I keep them very happy.
Rory: Okay, now, don't get gross.
Luke: So, uh, where's the guy?
Lorelai: Oh he's gone.
Luke: Oh, too bad.
Lorelai: We'll be fine. Luke?
Luke: Yeah?
Lorelai: Um, can I make one more suggestion?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Curtains?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Manly curtains.
Luke: Oxymoron.
Lorelai: What did you call me? Luke: No curtains.
Lorelai: Aw come on. You gotta give a little. How about a tablecloth?
Luke:No. We don't do table cloths here.
