Paris: Just making an observation.
Rory: Great. We'll build a dome over you and jam a telescope in your head.

Dean: (Dean enters Kim's Antiques) Hello? Lane are you here?
Mrs. Kim: (Mrs. Kim pops out from behind a piece of furniture) Who are you? Why you call Lane? How you know her? You date her?
Dean: No.
Mrs. Kim: You try to?
Dean: No!
Mrs. Kim: Then why you here? Empty your pockets!
Dean: OK. I'm gonna go now.
Lane: Dean! Wait! Wait!
Mrs. Kim: Who's Dean?
Dean: I'm Dean.
Mrs. Kim: How you know Dean?
Lane: We go to school together.
Mrs. Kim: You do?
Dean: Yeah, we're science partners.
Mrs. Kim: (to Dean) You! Don't talk! (to Lane) Science partners?
Lane: Yes Mamma. I've invited him over to work.
Mrs. Kim: Work?
Lane: On our science project.
Mrs. Kim:(suspiciously) Reproduction?
Lane: Spores, molds and fungus.
Mrs. Kim: Science project?
Lane: Yes.
Mrs. Kim: For school? You're not dating?
Lane: No Mamma.
Mrs. Kim: Ok. Follow me.
(she leads them to the kitchen)
Mrs. Kim: (to Dean) You! Sit here! (to Lane) You! Sit here! I'm going there. When I come back these chairs will be in the same place. No moving! You understand? (she walks away but turns back to Lane and Dean) I see all!

Emily: She got home from school but she just went right upstairs. Now she didn't want a snack but I had Rosa make her one anyway. I haven't checked to see if she's eaten it. She had a decent breakfast this morning but she did seem a little tired and when I went into her bathroom the aspirin bottle was out so I assume she had a headache. Now I don't know if it was last night or...
Lorelai: Excuse me, Mr. Cosell. I appreciate the play by play but I just want to talk to my daughter now.
Emily: Do you want me to go in there with you?
Lorelai: More than anything.
Emily: Well try and be nice.
Lorelai: Thanks for the tip.

Lorelai: Got a minute?
Dean: Actually I'm, uh..
Lorelai: I just want to tell you that I think you are scum.
Dean: Gee thanks.
Lorelai: You are gonna be hard pressed to find another girl as fantastic as Rory, you know that? She is beautiful and she is smart and she did not deserve to be treated that way by you.
Dean: Treated what way?
Lorelai: I thought you were a good guy. I thought you were going to make her happy. I'm such an idiot that I actually thought you were a good pick. But I was wrong and I hate to be wrong.
Dean: You know I am sick and tired of everyone blaming this thing on me. I mean you and the whole stupid town looking at me like I'm a criminal. I say "I love you" and she just sits there and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?
Lorelai: What?
Dean: You know what? Fine, think what you want, I don't care. Just leave me alone.

(to Lorelai) Don't take this the wrong way, but get out.


Lorelai: Hey, I have a huge dilemma that I need your opinion on!
Rory: (annoyed) What?
Lorelai: Am I more beautiful today than I was yesterday?
Rory: Oh boy.
Lorelai: I'm just not sure. I mean at first I looked in the mirror and I thought, well yes, definitely, huge improvement.
Rory: Can I have my pillow back?
Lorelai: But then I thought maybe it's not that I'm more beautiful today. Maybe I was just as beautiful yesterday, only I lacked the self-esteem to recognize it.

Rory: Okay, guy number 3 is crossing the street right now.
Luke: Why am I looking?
Lorelai: Because it's like a train wreck.
Lorelai Aww, no!
Rory: Daddy!
Lorelai: Not Kirk!
Rory: Maybe he'll buy me a pony.
Lorelai: I wanna go back to the old guy.
(Kirk walks in the diner and Luke walks over to him)
Luke: Congratulations man.
Kirk: Uh, thank you.
(Lorelai and Rory start giggling)
Kirk: What?
Lorelai: Nothing
Kirk: Okay, did somebody put the kick me sign on my back again? It wasn't funny last week and it's not funny now! I have asthma.(He leaves the diner)
Rory: Mom, quick he's leaving!
Lorelai: Oh no, Kirk come back, I lo-o-o-ove you! Drat. All right, your turn.
Rory: I don't know Mom. You already got Kirk, how's a girl to top that.

Lorelai: (about Dean) I warned him. I warned him when I first met him, if he hurt her...Ah. Maybe I could key his car.
Luke: Better yet. Key Taylor's car and tell him Dean did it.

(Luke is trying on clothes Lorelai bought him)
Luke: I hate you, very much!
Lorelai: Aww, save the sweet talk for Rachel.

Lorelai: (Talking about what she has just found in Luke's shopping bag) Pot holders. Little kitty pot holders. (Pulls the tail) They meow.
Luke: It's a present.
Lorelai: For someone you hate?

Rory: I just got scared and I sat there.
Lorelai: I understand. You know, I'm still learning this stuff too and since I'm still learning, I think I haven't thought enough about what I'm supposed to be teaching you.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I'm talking about my own personal lack of commitment skills. I mean, look, I love that you have my eyes and my coffee addiction and my taste in music and movies, but when it comes to love and relationships, I don't necessarily want you to be like me. I would hate to think that I raised a kid who couldn't say I love you.

Rory: So, Grandpa, what's new in the world today?
Richard: Well, as usual, it's going to hell in a handbasket.
Rory: It's nice to always have something you can count on.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Dean: You said 'boyfriend'.
Rory: No! I just meant boyfriend in the sense that the whole defending me thing was very boyfriendy, but only in the broadest sense of the word, which doesn't even apply at all here.

Rory: (at Lorelai running off to listen to a song with Lane) But you only finished half my toes!
Lorelai: Who cares? You're going to be wearing shoes anyway!