Dean: So... that's your mom?
Lane: That's my mom.
Dean: Has she seen Patton?
Lane: She's just very uptight about boys.
Dean: I sensed something like that.
Lane: Don't take it personally.
Dean: I know, I'm sure once she gets to know me she'll...
Lane: No, she'll hate you forever. It's just nothing personal.

(Luke is trying on clothes Lorelai bought him)
Luke: I hate you, very much!
Lorelai: Aww, save the sweet talk for Rachel.

Lorelai: Hey, I have a huge dilemma that I need your opinion on!
Rory: (annoyed) What?
Lorelai: Am I more beautiful today than I was yesterday?
Rory: Oh boy.
Lorelai: I'm just not sure. I mean at first I looked in the mirror and I thought, well yes, definitely, huge improvement.
Rory: Can I have my pillow back?
Lorelai: But then I thought maybe it's not that I'm more beautiful today. Maybe I was just as beautiful yesterday, only I lacked the self-esteem to recognize it.

Rory: Okay, guy number 3 is crossing the street right now.
Luke: Why am I looking?
Lorelai: Because it's like a train wreck.
Lorelai Aww, no!
Rory: Daddy!
Lorelai: Not Kirk!
Rory: Maybe he'll buy me a pony.
Lorelai: I wanna go back to the old guy.
(Kirk walks in the diner and Luke walks over to him)
Luke: Congratulations man.
Kirk: Uh, thank you.
(Lorelai and Rory start giggling)
Kirk: What?
Lorelai: Nothing
Kirk: Okay, did somebody put the kick me sign on my back again? It wasn't funny last week and it's not funny now! I have asthma.(He leaves the diner)
Rory: Mom, quick he's leaving!
Lorelai: Oh no, Kirk come back, I lo-o-o-ove you! Drat. All right, your turn.
Rory: I don't know Mom. You already got Kirk, how's a girl to top that.

Emily: She got home from school but she just went right upstairs. Now she didn't want a snack but I had Rosa make her one anyway. I haven't checked to see if she's eaten it. She had a decent breakfast this morning but she did seem a little tired and when I went into her bathroom the aspirin bottle was out so I assume she had a headache. Now I don't know if it was last night or...
Lorelai: Excuse me, Mr. Cosell. I appreciate the play by play but I just want to talk to my daughter now.
Emily: Do you want me to go in there with you?
Lorelai: More than anything.
Emily: Well try and be nice.
Lorelai: Thanks for the tip.

Lorelai: Got a minute?
Dean: Actually I'm, uh..
Lorelai: I just want to tell you that I think you are scum.
Dean: Gee thanks.
Lorelai: You are gonna be hard pressed to find another girl as fantastic as Rory, you know that? She is beautiful and she is smart and she did not deserve to be treated that way by you.
Dean: Treated what way?
Lorelai: I thought you were a good guy. I thought you were going to make her happy. I'm such an idiot that I actually thought you were a good pick. But I was wrong and I hate to be wrong.
Dean: You know I am sick and tired of everyone blaming this thing on me. I mean you and the whole stupid town looking at me like I'm a criminal. I say "I love you" and she just sits there and I'm the jerk? I'm the bad guy?
Lorelai: What?
Dean: You know what? Fine, think what you want, I don't care. Just leave me alone.

Rachel: Hi there.
Lorelai: Oh, hi. This isn't what it looks like.
Rachel: It looks like you're dressing him (Luke)
Lorelai: Oh... then it is what it looks like!

Lorelai: Okay, you've been in this mood for a week now, and while I love the unexpected ups and downs of motherhood, I've gotta say I miss my Goofus, and I want my Gallant back.
Rory: You can't just say a normal sentence right? Just 'Hey, lets talk' is too dull for you. (Lorelai grabs Rory)
Lorelai: Hey. Let's talk.

Oh hey, Kirk. You gettin a cold? You know, you should try that Dyna-Meda-Chema-Themytol. Knocks it right out. But don't drive a forklift though, cause it'll make you drowsy.

</i> Lorelai

Emily: (about Michel) What a charming man!
Rory: Uh...okay.

Luke: So what was all about?
Lorelai: Oh nothing. We're just gonna go check out this old inn Rachel found.
Luke: Hmm.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Nothing. I didn't know you guys were friends.
Lorelai: Hm, well we're not really friends. I mean, I don't know her that well. But we're just hanging out. She seems really great.
Luke: Oh yeah, she is. She's great. She's just, you know, a lot different from you.
Lorelai: 'Cause I'm not really great?
Luke: No, you're great. Just in a different way.
Lorelai: In a not really great way?
Luke: That's not what I meant. The two of you are just completely different people. Both great, but I'm just a little surprised that, you know, you're different types of greatness are, you know, melding and you're comfortably great together.
Lorelai: Is this bothering you?
Luke: This conversation, yes.
Lorelai: No. Um, the idea of Rachel and I hanging out together. Is there some reason that's weird for you or something?
Luke: Why would it be?
Lorelai: No reason I can think of.
Luke: Okay, well then it's not weird.
Lorelai: Good, well I was just checking.
Luke: Okay, well then, you checked.
Lorelai: Okay. So are you gonna be pouring that coffee anytime or...
Luke: Oh.
Lorelai: I'm glad it's not weird though because... (Luke spills coffee on the table)... that would be bad.
Luke: Oh, I'll get a rag.

(Luke walks over to Lorelai's table where Rachel is showing a picture she took of them)
Luke: What's that?
Lorelai: Oh, it's a picture of us.
Luke: Us?
Rory: Rachel took it.
Rachel: At the Firelight Festival.
Luke: Oh, sure, yeah. (He hands a plate to Lorelai) So, uh, here's your plate, no eyes.
Lorelai: Thank you.
Rachel: Do you wear contacts?
Lorelai: Me? No.
Rachel: God, you've got amazing eyes. (to Luke) Doesn't she?
Luke: Oh, yeah. Sure, I guess... I mean, they're, you know, placed good... symmetrical. I'm gonna get some more coffee.
Rachel: Yeah.

Gilmore Girls Season 1 Quotes

Lorelai: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. I smell snow.
Rory: Ah, it's that time of year.
Lorelai: Can't you smell it?
Rory: You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises. I think it's something only you can smell.
(Rory sits down next to Lorelai and pulls a blanket over the both of them)
Lorelai: I love snow.
Rory: Really, I had no idea.
Lorelai: Everything's magical when it snows, everything looks pretty. The clothes are great. Coats, scarves, gloves, hats.
Rory: Thermal underwear, wool socks, ear flaps.

Lorelai: Work.
Rory: Life.
Lorelai: Dig it man.
Rory: Peace out Humphrey.