(Lane goes into Sophie's Music and is unseen going to the back of the store.)
Kirk: (hands resume to Sophie) That's my home phone number, my cell number, my pager number, and there's a partial list of references.
Sophie: Yeah, okay, I'll hang onto this, but as I said before we just opened so I'm not really looking to hire anybody right now.
Kirk: I am licensed to carry a gun if that will help.
Sophie: (sarcastically) You have no idea how much.
(Lane is looking at some instruments and is just about to touch a guitar.)
Sophie: May I help you?
Lane: Oh no thank you I was just looking.
Sophie: We like the looking. It's the touching we're a little iffy on.
Lane: Actually I was just going to (bumps into a cello)-ooh! That probably would have been considered as touching, wouldn't it?
Sophie: (sighing) Yes.
Lane: (sees a red drum set) Oh my...
Sophie: That's a DW drum set with Zildjian cymbals.
Lane: It's beautiful.
Sophie: You play?
Lane: Oh no, I wish.
Sophie: Sit.
Lane: What?
Sophie: Sit down, see how it feels.
Lane: Oh no, I couldn't.
Sophie: Why? Your legs don't bend?
Lane: No they bend.
Sophie: Okay, if they bend, then bend them.
Lane: Well, okay. (sits down on stool) This is a good stool.
Sophie: Yes, it is. Here. (hands Lane a set of drum sticks) You can't sit down at a drum set without your sticks.
Lane: Right, 'cause that would be stupid.
Sophie: And remember, no touching.
Lane: Right. (pretends to hit the drums without making noise)
Sophie: You look good.
Lane: Thanks.
Sophie: (laughs and leaves)

Lorelai: Look, I'm giving these paper-topped turkeyheads 3 seconds to seat us, or I swear I'm gonna start...
Waitress: Two?
Lorelai: Yes, please!
Rory: You're gonna what?
Lorelai: What?
Rory: You said you were gonna do something if somebody didn't seat us in 3 seconds
Lorelai: I did?
Rory: Yes, you did. And then the waitress came and you never finished saying what you were gonna do.
Lorelai: Honey, we've gotta get some food into you, you're imagining things!
Rory: What were you gonna do?
Lorelai: Shh, you're getting screwy!
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: Mom? I'm not your mom, do you need help little girl?
Rory: Oh my God!

Luke: I asked you if anyone was hurt.
Lorelai: Was anyone hurt? Well, let's see, Rory is in the hospital right now with a fractured wrist, so yeah, I'd say someone was hurt!

Jess: Okay, well, I'll be right over there when you are. I just can't wait for that learning to begin. Hey, are we gonna do some of those Schoolhouse Rocks songs?
Rory: I'll be right there, Jess.
Jess: 'Cause they say if you just make learning fun. . .
Lorelai: Give us a minute, okay?
Jess: Well, hurry a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Luke: Uh, I made some brownies, I thought you might like some.
Lorelai: Oh, gee, since I just ate half a bag of marshmallows, six Pop Tarts, four bagel dogs and a really stale Cheese Nip yup, it's brownie time, thanks. Hey, here's a question for you.
Luke: Yeah?
Lorelai: Well, you probably have a diner full of people who would love these brownies plus, I bet they'd pay you for 'em.
Luke: Well, I accidentally dropped triple the amount of cocoa powder in the batter so I either had to dump the batch or find someone with some sort of superhuman chocolate tolerance only one name came to mind.
Lorelai: God, I love being special.

Luke: Was Jess hurt?
Lorelai: No, Luke. Jess did the hurting. That little punk nephew of yours almost killed my kid tonight!

(During a test. Jess asked Lane for a pen and she said that there was one in her backpack)
Jess: My mother told me never go through a lady's bag. . .at least, not until you're a couple blocks away. I'm just kidding, she never said that. Though it sounds like pretty good advice, doesn't it?
Lane: Take it and shut up. (She hands him a pen)
Jess: Well, I tell you, it's true small towns sure are friendly.

Luke: Look, I'm sure it was an accident. Accidents happen.
Lorelai: Not when my kid's in the car, they don't!

Mr. Merten: Every baseball on campus seems to have disappeared.
Luke: Oh, come on, you don't think Jess seriously... I'll check when I get home.

Jess: (about Rory) I made sure she was okay.
Luke: I know you did.

Lorelai: So, how are you feeling?
Rory: Haunted by the sight of Kirk's bare chest.

Christopher: This town is like one big outpatient mental institution.
Lorelai: Glad you could join us.

Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes

I feel like crap on toast.


Rory: Battle bots!
Dean: For life!