I'm a miracle. I'm a unicorn. I'm a fucking needle in the haystack and you're just some fucking dumb hipster who's munching my hay!

Thomas John [to Jessa]

• Permalink: I'm a needle in the haystack and you're just a hipster munching my hay
• Added: February 01, 2013

I'm tired of being polite. You're a fucking stepford psycho and I'm tired of seeing you around everyone.

Audrey [to Marnie]

• Permalink: I'm tired of being polite. You're a f**king stepford psycho and ...
• Added: February 01, 2013

It's like having a clit in your butt.

Hannah

• Permalink: It's like having a clit in your butt.
• Added: February 01, 2013

What's a butt plug?

Shoshanna

• Permalink: What's a butt plug?
• Added: February 01, 2013

Unlike you, I'd do almost anything sexually.

Hannah

• Permalink: Unlike you, I'd do almost anything sexually.
• Added: February 01, 2013

Um seriously though, I like really think that the best years of your life are like totally gonna happen here.

to Hannah}

• Permalink: Um seriously though, I like really think that the best years of ...
• Added: February 01, 2013

We're all adults, you can tell them we had sex. That's why we're late, because we had sex.

Ray [to Shoshanna]

• Permalink: We're all adults, you can tell them we had sex. That's why we're...
• Added: February 01, 2013

Oooh I hate when people are early, it's so vile.

Jessa

• Permalink: Oooh I hate when people are early, it's so vile.
• Added: February 01, 2013

There are certain people who are meant to remain in your past. I made a mistake trying to repurpose you.

Hannah

• Permalink: There are certain people who are meant to remain in your past. I...
• Added: February 01, 2013