You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent.


I want it to look like Elvis' gold record room at Graceland, except I'll be wanting far few morbidly obese women wandering around.


They call it a funkification, meaning they show us what they've got and we spiral into a deep cloud of funk.


While Jackie Daniels is a great name for a power boat or something, it's not great for a baby girl.


What is your problem? It's just a moist towelette!


We live in Ohio, not New York... or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren't fried.


Boys, I don't wanna hear about chafing just because you're wearing metal underwear. Not my problem.


You look terrible. I look awesome.


My dads are moving my therapist into our spare room.


Quinn: You wanna name our daughter Jack Daniels? It's a girl.
Puck: Okay, fine. Jackie Daniels.

When I was little and I was sad, my dads would bring me a glass of water. It got to a point where I didn't know if I was sad or thirsty.


Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

Glee Season 1 Quotes

I can't be co-captain. No time. Kwanza!


Will: Inside, you're a really good person. I appreciate what you're doing for these kids. I won't forget it.
Sue: I'm seriously gonna puke in your mouth.