Celibacy, ladies! Dig it.


Celibacy is a viable option... for those who are older and are terrified of the hose monster.


So just remember whenever you have sex with someone, you’re having sex with everyone they’ve ever had sex with. And everybody’s got a random


Mary Todd Lincoln in the house! My husband was probably gay and I'm bipolar which makes me yell about things like "That teacup is spreading lies about me" or "This can't be my baby, because i don't love it."


(Sam and Brittany prepare to kiss during Spin the bottle) Just a reminder, I owns that guppy mouth. Those Abercrombie lips belongs to me. (they kiss) You know what? This is not - Hey honeys! - this is not a Big Red commercial. No me gusta.


Hey dwarf, anyone ever tell you that you dress like one of the bait girls on To Catch A Predator?

Santana [to Rachel]

Rachel, im gonna give you some tough love right now. You're not a trendsetter. When people look at you, the dont see what you're wearing, the see a cat getting its temperature taken, and then they hear it screaming.


Rachel: Now class I want you to all go around and discuss what songs they like to hear me perform at sectionals.
Santana: You know what!!! *starts yelling*
Rachel: *Screams*

You know what, a reminder, I own that guppie mouth. Those aerosmith lips belong to me!


It tastes like pink. It tastes like pink!


Quinn: I hate you did to my body! I use to have abs!
Puck: Hey!

Finn: What about after we win Nationals?
Will: I'll buy the sparkling cider.

Glee Season 2 Quotes

May I have this dance?


They look like deep fried deep poop.

Brittany [on tater tots]