Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 4: "Memoirs of an Invisible Dan" Quotes
Chuck: You're making a big mistake.
Louis: In thinking that Blair could be trusted? Yes. She will always have her secrets. She can't exist without them/ You were right after all.
Chuck: You shouldn't listen to me. If you read Dan's book you know how I turn out. You have a chance at having love in your life. Not ending up alone, hanging in a closet. Don't give up. Or your own fact will be someone else's fiction.
Blair: You'd better hope I can stop your fantasy life from destroying my real one.
Dan: Blair, I never wanted us to come between you too.
Blair: When are you going to get it through your head? There's no us! There never was. There's nothing here but friendship, and even that's gone now.
Serena: Is this what you've been trying to tell me all day?
Blair: No, because it never happened. {to Louis} It never happened!
Louis: I don't believe a word you say! You said yourself that Dan has no imagination.
Dan: Okay, thanks. But Louis, it didn't happen.
Looks like the best piece of fiction is that people are actually happy for Dan Humphrey.
Gossip Girl
Serena: I could lose my job over this.
Blair: I could lose my fiancée.
Serena: What?
Serena: Hey, do you know where Dan is? Can you believe what he wrote about me?
Chuck: Which part? Sabrina is glamorous, sexy, beautiful.
Serena: Selfish, insensitive, shallow.
Chuck: I can tell you from experience, everyone loves a villain.
Serena: Yeah, I told Blair the same thing. But then I realized if that's true, why are you always alone?
Blair: Not one word! Have you seen Dan?
Serena: No, have you?
Both: Did you see what he wrote me?!
Serena: No, I didn't have time to read all of it. Just the parts about me.
Blair: Me too.
Chuck: Check the study.
Don't bother lying. Or hanging up. We met this morning when you were Charlie Rhodes.
Diana
"Flighty"? "Irresponsible?" I'm gonna kill him.
Serena
Can we dare believe? Queen B and Lonely Boy doing the deed? Even I have to admit, it's a novel idea.
Gossip Girl
Chuck: You spend extra time doing your hair tonight, Nathaniel?
Nate: Ha ha. I don't mind that Dan made me gay.
Chuck: No, I was actually a little offended he didn't make me gay. Personally I thought you'd be more annoyed being conflated with Eric.
Sam: There's this novel going around town with this character based on Serena. Sabrina is a totally shallow self-obsessed party girl. Yes, I finished it.
Serena: Aren't you being a little reductive?
Jane: And ridiculous. Daniel lives on a farm in Ireland, his cow's probably giving birth right now. And everything isn't about Serena.
Sam: I told him that you're Sabrina. I hope that's not a problem.
Serena: No, not at all. It's nice to play such a big part in Dan's book. We've always been close.
Sam: Ugh. He must have been a saint to put up with you that long.
