Bart: Rufus. You're looking well. I see your transition from Brooklyn to the big time has done you wonders.
Rufus: I'm not here for small talk. I just need you to sign these annulment papers.
Bart: So. Lily has chosen to end our marriage in order to save yours.
Rufus: She made her choice three years ago when she decided to leave you for me. Nothing's changed since then.
Bart: Maybe I have. All that time in hiding made me realize what's really important.
Rufus: What does that mean exactly?
Bart: If Lily's happiness depends on my signature on these, you will have them by the end of the day.

Dan: Blair I told you I loved you and you pretended like you didn't even hear me.
Blair: Dan, let's just put all that behind us.
Dan: See, you're doing it again. Do you even want to be in this relationship?
Blair: Of course!
Dan: Is the reason you can't say you love me because you're still in love with Chuck?
Blair: No.
Dan: Then I need to know how you feel about me. By tonight.
Blair: Dan—
Dan: We're supposed to be spending the summer in Italy together and I don't want you coming unless we know where we stand.

You saw Gossip Girl. You want to reimburse me for my new phone 'cause I'm assuming it's you that took the old one?

Blair

Do you want to come with me to the Shepherd's divorce party tonight? I should have known that marriage was doomed when Serena banged my boyfriend at the reception.

Blair

"This new romance with Dan is fun. But is cultural stimulation enough? What if I never love anyone more than I love Chuck?" Looks like someone forgot a "D" at the end of that word. Guess we just answered who's in Blair's heart. Question is, is there room for two?

Gossip Girl

Blair: Status report. Penelope. Social suicide watch?
Penelope: The Met's not gonna be happy.
Blair: Make a donation. Also include the ballet, opera. Skip MoMa. Tim Burton isn't art. I stand by that statement.

Bart: Deceiving you was the only way to keep you and Chuck safe.
Lily: If I had known maybe we could have done things differently.
Bart: You mean you would have come with me? Please. You were getting ready to leave me for Rufus.
Lily: I'm sorry for that. I should have had more respect for our marriage. What about Charles? I mean his thinking you were dead was hell for him.
Bart: He got through it though. With your help. He told me about the adoption, Lily. I owe you everything for that.
Lily: Charles is family. And even with you back he's mine too.

One of Lily's marriages has to be annulled. I need to make sure it's not mine.

Rufus

Just be the bigger person and don't read any of them. Stay off Gossip Girl, okay?

Serena

Penelope: Why should we help you when you called us "back of house"?
Jessica: That was you. She says my hair's as thick as Jessica Simpson's.
Kati: That says "head."
Blair: You should be grateful that your names are mentioned at all. That guy spent one week with Marilyn and he is still living off the royalties.

Pages with foot in mouth already marked from K to six.

Dorota

Lola: I got a job as a swing in the touring company of Wicked.
Nate: Swing. What's that? Like a tart or a prop?
Lola: It's like an understudy but for a lot of characters. Not exactly my dream but with my mom in jail it solves my housing problem.

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 24 Quotes

I don't want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf. I'm Chuck Bass.

Chuck

You say I always bet against you. Not this time. I'm all in.

Blair