Dan: I'm good with just one.
Chuck: You're either in for the full ride, or you're out.
Dan: [pauses] Okay, pass me the shots.
Chuck: That's just a chaser.
Dan: What is that?
Chuck: Does it matter? Down the rabbit hole, then we go out the door.

I hope they make a Humphrey sandwich.


They say in fashion that you can become a success overnight. But one minute you're in, and the next, you're out.

Gossip Girl

You think Capote got national acclaim for In Cold Blood by judging the murderers?


If I have to exploit people to be a good writer, then maybe I don't want to be a good writer.


You sent me five stories all about a sheltered young man with girl problems who lives with his dad in Brooklyn. You think that's going to knock the Yale admissions committee off their tenured asses?


Kirsten Dunst? So 2007. Her rehab barely made the radar.


Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle?


I told Laurel my daughter could make a better seating chart than that drug-addled publicist. It's a blessing she was hauled off to rehab for stealing her son's Ritallin.


For what it's worth, Humphrey, you had my back. Never thought I'd say this, but thanks.


Gossip Girl: Spotted: Dan Humphrey, shoeless and clueless. That's all!

Chuck: Arthur! Pull over!
Dan: This isn't Brooklyn. Aren't you taking me home?
Chuck: Get out.
Dan: Wait, no, I don't -
Chuck: Tonight was nothing. You're just a drunken idiot. My amusement for the night.
Dan: Can I at least have my shoes?

Gossip Girl Season 2 Episode 5 Quotes

Dan: I know... we don't like each other. You think I'm a boring, sheltered nobody.
Chuck: I don't think of you.

It's like the plague. Only instead of vermin on my doorstep, I get the human being. Beat it, Humphrey. My sister doesn't dig stalkers.