Jennifer: How do you feel about dating Hermoine?
Duke: Well, you know, we all have our stuff. I snore when I drink red wine.
Jennifer: Yes you do. Very loudly.
Duke: Very loudly

I don't want the magic beeping book. You keep it.


Sweet van you guys. What, you didn't want to spring for the airbrushed unicorn?


Nathan: Jennifer can do that?
Dwight: As far as I can tell, everyone younger than me can do that.

OK - We've all seen Real Bigfoot Housewives. Nobody takes these conspiracy guys seriously.


Duke: I was a cop?
Audrey: Yeah, a really good one.
Duke: And William shot me? I gotta get a bigger gun.

You gotta get this idea out of your head that you're some saviour here to fix the Troubles. The real you? You made the Troubles. Why do you think you're the one who has to come back to Haven over and over? Why do you think you're the one who has to deal with the Troubles? You made them.


William: Here's what you don't know. Deep down, you like the Troubles. Hell, you want the Troubles.
Audrey: I don't know what you're talking about.
William: No, you don't.

Your Dr. Douche has a family.


Boy am I glad to see you. Has this day been freaky or what?


Audrey: Vandalism? That's what you're worried about?
Duke: I know. This town is going to hell.

I am seriously so over this. What kind of Trouble takes my shoes?


Haven Season 4 Quotes

First, I need a paperclip. Second, I need my pants.


Jennifer: What? I'm not going anywhere with you. I just met you. And you're some kind of criminal.
Duke: Yes, I am a criminal. But, one with a heart of gold.