OK, if you were new in town and just ingested an eighth of a sandwich where would you go?

Robin

I want to be confused with you.

Barney

Lily: Scooby, we're in our thirties, we don't smoke sandwiches anymore.
Ted: Sandwich brownies?
Lily: OK!

Barney: Never ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she is hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot?

Barney: The N'Sync concert?
Ted: 1998 Cleveland's Agora Theater, front row, caught JC's shirt, what else you got

Marshall: You got nothing on me.
Barney: The calzone?
Marshall: Checkmate.

Nora: I'm sorry I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night.
Barney: Hahaha, what's that like?

Cardiologist: What happened at 8:46 PM last night.?
Barney: Well let's see, Wheel of Fortune, naked push ups, naked chin ups... oh I was at dinner.

Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel, because she's got brothers.

Barney

Lily: Ooo Barney's got feelings for a girl.
Barney: Yeah, penis feelings!

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 18 Quotes

Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel, because she's got brothers.

Barney

Lily: Ooo Barney's got feelings for a girl.
Barney: Yeah, penis feelings!