Ooh girlfriend troubles, I wish I could help you but my totally awesome wife just bought me a lap dance with her body double. If you need me I'll be getting grinded like some pepper in the champagne room

Marshall [to Barney]

• Permalink: Ooh girlfriend troubles, I wish I could help you but my totally ...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Barney: I don't come here that often
Waitress: Hey Barney, here's your usual and I'll send you your other usual when she's done stretching
Barney: Thank you kindly, stranger

• Permalink: I don't come here that often Hey Barney, here's your usual and...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Jen: We're going to die alone aren't we?
Ted: Well, you'll have your cats

• Permalink: We're going to die alone aren't we? Well, you'll have your cat...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Barney: Guess who got four tickets to the the origins of chewbaca exhibit?
Lily: Why?
Barney: No, I said who
Lily: I heard you
Robin: Isn't it a little early in our relationship to be doing things that would end our relationship?

• Permalink: Guess who got four tickets to the the origins of chewbaca exhibi...
• Added: September 29, 2009