How I Met Your Mother Season 3 Episode 5: "How I Met Everyone Else" Quotes
BlahBlah: So, we know how Marshall and Lily met. Robin, how did you and Barney meet?
Robin: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Barney and I are not together, no, no.
Barney: Really? Sixteen no's? Really?
Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro - I'm Broda!
Barney
[flashback to when Marshall met Barney]
Marshall: I'm not gonna cheat on my girlfriend.
Barney: Yes, you are, with the hottie that just walked in. Look at her.
[Lily walks in the bar]
Barney: How much hotter is she than your girlfriend?
Marshall: There's no comparison. What do you think Ted, should I go for it?
Ted: Don't do it, man, think about Lily?
Marshall: You know what, I don't care, I've been with the same woman for too long. I need me some strange.
Barney: Yes, yes! Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can't. You're way out of practice and she's way too hot for you. So, remember, it's not about scoring. It's about believing you can do it, even though you probably can't. Go get 'em, tiger!
[Marshall gets up and goes up to the bar]
Barney: Poor guy's gonna crash and burn.
[Marshall and Lily kiss, Barney spits out his drink.]
Barney: That man is a god.
Blahblah: You guys dated? For how long?
Robin: A year. But, don't worry. The relationship wasn't that good. At the end, it was mostly about sex. Which wasn't that good. I was the problem. I just lie there. But Ted is very good. He will get you where you need to go.