Barney: I love to travel myself.
Random Girl: Where's the best place you visited?
Barney: Hawaii's nice. A buddy of mine lives in Seattle, that's a good spot. But the best place I have to say, the moon. Hi, Neil Armstrong.

Random Girl #1: Why you calling him Neil?
Random Girl #2: That's his name. He's Neil Armstrong.
Random Girl #1: The cyclist?
Random Girl #2: I thought you were supposed to be on a shuttle mission.
Random Girl #1: I thought you just got mugged.
Barney: Okay, I can do this ... I was on my way to the launch pad, when I was mugged... and the mugger took my space shuttle keys! Nailed it, who's up for a threeway?

Robin: Are you reenacting the last scene from Sleepless in Seattle with little dolls?
Ted: How long have you been standing there?
Robin: Ten seconds.
Ted: Yup, just the last scene.

There's a fine line between a true story and a bald-faced lie.


Ted: You did not convince her you were Neil Armstrong. The moon landing took place seven years before you were born.
Barney: Ted, baby doll. Minor hurdle.

Marshall: It was completely terrifying.
Barney: It was completely terrifying.
Marshall: What are you doing?
Barney: Rehearsing. I'm totally going to pretend it happened to me later.

Lily: He naked-muggered you?
Barney: I'm not even going to ask where he was keeping the gun.
Ted: You sure it was a gun?

We knocked space boots. Houston, we have a moaner! Other space-related double entendres!


Marshall: This is not that uncommon! You know, in Thailand, in China, in Costa Rica, and in many other places where monkey crime is an extremely common occurrence, their social dynamics are predicated upon stealing!
Lily: You got mugged by a monkey!

Are you sure it wasn't a monkey standing on another monkey's shoulders wearing a trench coat?


People like being lied to. They just don't like finding out they've been lied to.


Barney: Did the robber have five o'clock shadow and a ski cap?
Marshall: Yes, because I was robbed in 1947 at the corner of Abbott and Costello.

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 19 Quotes

People want the lie. They need the lie!


Marshall, there's a cartoon of you on our coupon.

Pizza Guy