How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes
Barney: Ladies, gentlemen, Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the Re-return. I finally nailed Shannon. Told her I'd call her tomorrow...yeah, right! And I rediscovered how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres!
Marshall: I think Barney just won game night
Come on, Ted can't be pregnant... you need to have sex to get pregnant
Robin
I need a drink, do we have any cough syrup in here?
Lily
[playing laser tag...]
Barney: Don't be a hero, Sherbatsky!
Robin: See you on the other side.
Both: Yaahhhhh! Charging!
[Both got shot]
Barney: Damn, wanna get a soft pretzel?
Robin: Sure
Lily: Baby, I need to do something and I can't do it in front of you. It will change the nature of our relationship.
Marshall: What is it?
Lily: I need to pee
[Barney is stripping down...]
Robin: What the hell are you doing?
Barney: I'm birthday suiting up!
The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old
Barney
Robin: Well, it looks like it's gonna be just you and me.
Barney: Really?
Robin: Actually, I was talking to my martini
Future Ted: When you meet someone special, suddenly life's full of firsts: the first kiss, the first night together, the first weekend together. For me, all those firsts happened within 48 hours of meeting Victoria.
Robin: No. I thought we're just hanging out as friends.
Barney: Oh, come on. You've been throwing yourself at me all night.
Robin: What? I did the opposite, I threw some other girl at you.
Barney: You invited me up to your apartment to play Battleship. Is that not an international recognized term for sex?
Ted: I had the most amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down."
Lily: Yea I know, my stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..."
A drum roll?! That's it? So what you just said good night, came home and performed a drum solo?
Marshall