How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Quotes
This better be good. I'm about to enter Nirvana. By the way I should get you Nirvana's phone number, she gives a great massage. Say whaaaat
Barney [on the phone]
What was her name? Was it my fat cousin, Lindsay? Don't be embarrassed, she has pretty eyes
Claudia
Sorry, buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no wait. That was last night
Barney
Lily [about the wedding bouquet]: It's such an evil tradition.
Ted: You're not gonna do it at your wedding?
Lily: Hell, yeah! I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it to the crowd and scream, "Crawl for it, bitches!" It's just what girls do
Ted: Great I'm gonna need you to call her for me.
Barney: You know I won't.
Ted: Why not?
Barney: Because we just hooked up last night. I can't call the girl the next day, I have to wait at least like...forever, Oh Snap! Never gonna call her
Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell, no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake.
Ted: That cake really got to you?
Marshall: It haunts me.
Marshall: Maybe she was a ghost. That's why she didn't want to kiss you because you'd pass right through her and get really cold for a second. Oh my God, I just had a great idea for a screenplay.
Ted: Marshall, she was not a ghost.
Marshall: I know she wasn't a ghost. She picked up a bouquet proving she had corporeal form
Victoria: Those big romantic moments... they're great when they happen, but they're not real.
Ted: Exactly. Exactly! Like, like just now, when I saw you doing the chicken dance out there, I'm not gonna lie to you, big time thunderbolt.
Victoria: Hmmm, you should see me tap-dance. You'd be down on bended knee.
Ted: Sadly, not out of character
Ted: Listen I'm calling because last night I met this girl, and I was wondering if you had...
Claudia: Oh you have got to be freaking kidding me!
Stuart: Oh here we go...
Claudia: Twenty-four hours ago you were begging...begging me to bring some other girl to my wedding and now, what, you're over her?
Ted: I've moved on
Marshall: You know what, excuse me if I don't wanna get married barefoot in the woods next to Lake No-one's-gonna-drive-that-far. Yes, I want a ballroom and I want a band and I want shoes. I've been dreaming about this day since I was like...
Lily: ...a little girl?
Barney: Whaddup? [gives Lily high five]
Ted: Yes, on Saturday, after a little wine and a little dancing...
Barney: Alright, they better be making a new gender, because I'm revoking your dude license.
Ted: Yeah, how was that manicure yesterday?
Barney: Invigorating, thanks
Barney: If that dude can bag a 9, I got to be able to bag a 16.
Ted: What's a 16?
Barney: Those two 8's right over there