To think I was going to let you jack me off.

Adriano [to Dee]

I'm going to wait right here and wait for my minions to swarm me.


I'm the queen of the night.


I know you bitch.

Waitress [to Dee]

I don't want to talk to old men who are pretending to be women and ex-wives.


Dennis: A dead tooth.
Maureen: With a diamond in it.
Dennis: Put a diamond in anything that's dead and it's still dead.

It wafted over here. The dead tooth. It stinks.


Do not talk to me for the rest of the night and know that I won't be talking to you because you lower my stock.

Dennis [to Charlie and Mac]

For some reason homophobia is awesome to these guys.


Looks like the Rat got too much cheese.

Adriano [to Mac]

He called you dirt grub and made you eat spiders.

Dee [to Charlie]

Brad Fisher: It's not acne. It's hornet scars.
Dennis: I don't think I have any products that take care of hornet scars.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 7 Episode 11 Quotes

Black butts are good!


Propel me back into the mid-'90s when Dennis Reynolds was a golden god.