You waste so much time talking when you should be plowing.

Mac [to Dennis]

I hear the guy hangs dong and I'm very interested in seeing that.


That sounds the tits!


What the shit is a thunder gun?


I'm 200 lbs. I'm as big as my avatar!


I wanna see Charlie do his thing and he's good.

Dennis [stoned out of his mind]

Let's get high in the back office.

Dennis [to Charlie]

Charlie: Why is your face so shiny?
Dennis: I had my face peeled off with chemicals. Wanna know why?
Charlie: Not really.

I'm not drinking bleach.

Bar patron to Charlie

Dee is guilty of sloth...and she's pro-abortion.

Mac [to priest]

Everyone knows who Superman is and it's not you!

Charlie [to Dennis]

You look like Superman.

Dee [to Dennis]

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 7 Quotes

I'd rather get blasted in the balls by a battering ram than have to have a conversation with the guy.

Dennis [referring to Tim Murphy]

This jacket is awesome. And it's tighter than dick skin.