I drank three bottles of champagne and hung out with a stray dog all night under a bridge. It was sweet.


He said 'fire off'...I like that.

Mac [referring to musclehead]

Dee [to Dennis]: What in God's name have you done to your face?
Mac: You look like a monster.

I'm going to the crevice!


What are you looking to do? Flash cook a gyro?

Charlie [to Frank]

What the shit is going on around here?


How did your friends make you fat? Were they force feeding you?


I command you to smite my friends!

Mac [to God]

Mac: Bless me Father for I have sinned.
Priest: What is your confession?
Mac: I'm fat.

It was weird that they were Asian.


I'm gonna whip this little bitch in the face if she makes a peep.


There are far too many leather shops in Arizona as it is.


It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 7 Quotes

I'd rather get blasted in the balls by a battering ram than have to have a conversation with the guy.

Dennis [referring to Tim Murphy]

This jacket is awesome. And it's tighter than dick skin.