Jenni looks so hot. Like porn star hot. If Roger wasn't here then I would probably have sex with her.

Snooki

I need to move on from this kid quick and there is only one way to do that - I need to go.

Sammi

Baterrrrr up b*tches!

Snookie

[on Jwoww] I got a boner.

Snooki

Hell has to be just like this.

Vinny

I'm the reason you're still here. I'm the reason you got through Miami. You're the fakest in the house and I'll make you crumble real f*%king quick.

Ronnie

I'd like an apology pizza delivered to Nicole.

Jeff

I need closure, bro.

Sammi

Face down, ass up ... that's the way I like to have a good time.

Deena

We're waiting for Sam, who's straightening her hair... whose hair is already straight! Come on man! The only thing that needs to be straightened out is her brain.

Mike

What don't I do for Sam? Besides wipe her ass for her and breathe for her.

Ronnie

I look like a hot drunk baseball player right now and I'm lovin' it. BATTER UP, BITCHES!

Snooki

Jersey Shore Season 3 Quotes

Like a monkey has to go to the f*%kin' jungle, I belong at the Jersey Shore.

Vinny

I'm so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates.

Snooki