I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me. I feel like I'm losing it.

Amy

Kevin, our problems are way past you covering for me. I'm not getting any better. I was wrong. I simply can't control myself.

Yvette

Having you back in my life is the biggest gift I've been given, by the Universe, or God, or whatever.

Kevin

Yvette: I'm, um, I'm a friend of Kevin's.
Amy: Do I know you?
Yvette: He needs your help.

Oh, real quick, what do I do with that dead body?

Tyler

Kevin: I'm deeper than you thought I was.
Reese: I hate you.
Kevin: And I'm smarter than you thought I was.

Reese: Do you have an invisible person following you around?
Kevin: Where'd you get that incredibly stupid idea from?
Reese: I don't know. I don't know anything. I think I upset mom.

Cindy don't do sickness! Cindy out!

Cindy

Yvette: Kevin, meet Cindy, my replacement.
Cindy: Oh yeah! It's lesson time, Kevin!

You know what's funny? I feel like I've known you forever. Weird, huh?

Barry

First her friends, now her cat, the Universe is telling Kristin she doesn't belong with me.

Kevin

We're moving in together, me and Becky.

Tyler