Louie Quotes
You just ate a strawberry that you can't have.
Louie [after a hot blonde asks for a strawberry and eats it without waiting for a reply]
Say what you don't know and learn everything.
Louie [translating Ramon's Spanish]
This is bullshit.
Louie [Upon seeing yet another hot woman strut by on the beach]
I know it's not popular to say, but I hate balloons.
Your sperms are dying inside my mouth right now. Goddamit! Where are the gentlemen? What is wrong with our country?
Lori
You know how many dicks I sucked that I didn't want to suck? Because I'm a good kid. Because I do what's right. I never left anyone hanging how dare you?
Lori
Intimate? Me sucking your dick isn't intimate?
Lori
That's young nervous penis. When you're 24 and single, your penis is like the young, nervous guy in the World War II movie in the foxhole. Any sound your penis hears, it's like, 'WHAT WAS THAT?!? LET'S GO! LET'S GO LET'S GO! I'm married in my 50s. My penis is relaxed. My penis is sitting in the chair, smoking a pipe, reading the paper. My penis is like Bing Crosby. It hears a noise it's like 'I think I heard a noise, could be a hand, could be a vagina, bub bub bub.
Alan
This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and my dad hung himself in front of me, while masturbating.
Ben
