Elizabeth [after Stevie describes what a Memorandum of Understanding is]: It's nice to know that *one* of my kids listens to me.
Stevie: Actually, I was listening to Russell Jackson.

• Permalink: Actually, I was listening to Russell Jackson.
• Added: March 06, 2017

You guys still on a family phone plan? [Jay and Matt turn to look at him] I'm just saying, you can look online at the records, and see if there's any number that she's calling regularly that you don't recognize. I saw it on Dateline. [Matt shakes his head] Don't judge.

Blake [after eavesdropping about Jay's marital woes]

• Permalink: You guys still on a family phone plan? I'm just saying,...
• Added: March 06, 2017

Matt: Is this more Dateline?
Blake: It's semi-legitmate journalism.

• Permalink: It's semi-legitmate journalism.
• Added: March 06, 2017

What's with women and the fairy tale? Even if you grow up thinking you want to look life square in the eye, there's still this part of you that's...looking for the pink, bubbly, happily-ever-after thing.

Elizabeth

• Permalink: What's with women and the fairy tale? Even if you grow up thinking you want to look life...
• Added: March 05, 2017

Foreign Minister Rojas: What about a membership at one of those big box stores you have here?
Elizabeth: Yeah. You bet.
Rojas: Inflation in Venezuela makes prices on basic goods very high. So if I could purchase a few things in bulk, even with the cost of shipping, I'd be a hero to my mother.
Elizabeth: Oh, yeah. I get it. I've got a pantry full of toilet paper. We're gonna make that happen.

• Permalink: Oh, yeah. I get it. I've got a pantry full of toilet paper. We're gonna make that happen.
• Added: March 05, 2017

Foreign Minister Rojas: Nevertheless, I must go back to Caracas and rather awkwardly withdraw my support for your memorandum until the situation is settled.
Elizabeth: Can you just stick around for another day? Just give us a chance to straighten this out? Anything you need, my staff will provide it. And...I might have a lead on a couple of Hamilton tickets. We'll get you up to New York. Stay at the Plaza Hotel.
Rojas: Eh, I've already seen the original cast.

• Permalink: Eh, I've already seen the original cast.
• Added: March 05, 2017

Seriously, it's like The Bachelorette, but with righteous politics and world influence.

Matt

• Permalink: Seriously, it's like The Bachelorette, but with righteous politics and world influence.
• Added: March 05, 2017

Now they're being groomed to run for office. Maybe it'll inspire some of our youth to put down Snapchat and aim a little higher.

Nadine [on the Colombian "Romeo and Juliet"]

• Permalink: Now they're being groomed to run for office. Maybe it'll inspire some of our youth to put...
• Added: March 05, 2017

Blake: I can't believe what it feels like to Juan-Luis or Soledad. I mean, when I was their age, I thought the pinnacle of pressure was being director of my acapella group.
Nadine: Now they're being groomed to run for office.

• Permalink: Now they're being groomed to run for office.
• Added: March 05, 2017