Favorite Major Crimes Quotes
Julio: Sir, I want to remind you -
Provenza: Julio, if you remind me about your court appearance one more time, I'm going to arrest you instead of the suspect. Now you will get out in plenty of time to putt-putt your way through the window.
Ricky: Okay. So all Andy has to do is prove that he was too emotionally immature to get married to his first wife and they'll grant the annulment.
Rusty: Except for that Mom wants Andy to come up with this idea himself. Why is the church so important to Mom anyway? I mean she goes to Mass a lot, but I don't go to church, do you?
Ricky: I'm an Easter Catholic. Look, it's not about us. It's about Mom. The church was there for her. It was her support system when we were growing up.
Sykes: How'd it go?
Mark: Great! I won at golf and a judge said that Julio'd be the best guardian ever.
Buzz: Congratulations.
Provenza: You think you've won but you're in it up to your neck, now.
Julio: Don't listen to him. We're gonna be a great family.
Mark: So can I call you Dad now?
Julio: Well technically I'm not your dad.
Mark: But I'm your son, right?
Julio: Technically, you're my ward.
Mark: Why am I your ward? I don't want to be your ward.
Buzz: Well I don't know if it's a major crime, but I can tell you from experience, the car/bike thing is a major problem.
Provenza: You're going to regret selling that Prius. You'll learn that the hard way.
Provenza: Sykes, what do we know?
Amy: Victim is WIlliam Sachs, 24. He was apparently a USC law student who was on his way home when he made a wrong turn under someone's car. His last text from was a Cliff saying, "This isn't over. I'm gonna beat you."
Provenza: Maybe we can get this Cliff on two things. Vehicular manslaughter and texting while driving.
Sharon: Um, Buzz, does the victim's fiancee have a Facebook page?
Andy: What are you thinking? That it's always the fiancee?
Sharon: I'm thinking she might be able to help us before she completely falls apart.
Fiancee [crying]: No, no, Will's fine.
Sanchez: Ma'am -
Fiancee: I need you to stop talking. Please stop talking!
Rusty: Hey LIeutenant, what's up?
Provenza: I'm overdosing on weddings, even the happy ones, of which there are too few.
Rusty: That sounds work related.
Provenza: It is. I'll explain. Usually it's not the child molesters or the dead babies. But with the murders, usually there's a reason. But not this time.
Sharon: Losing out a clerkship is an unusual motive for murder, but people have killed for less.
Provenza: I like greed. It's my favorite except for infidelity.
You want someone to blame? How about the driver? Or maybe look in the mirror, because the LAPD is doing such a great job of protecting the people of this city right now. Am I under arrest? Am I?
Cliff
Patrice: Louis, what's the matter?
Louis: What makes you think anything's the matter?
Patrice: You haven't turned on the television and you're not complaining about putting stamps on envelopes for Sharon and Andy's wedding. What's up?
Louis: I think I need to quit my job.
Patrice: Yeah right.
Louis: No, really. Maybe next week.
Patrice: Is it this case?
Louis: No. It's this kid.
Accidents happen. They happen and time goes by and it gets better. That's what everyone said. But they were wrong. Because when you lose a child, time does not go by. It just comes to a dead halt.
Mrs. Harris
