Mike & Molly Quotes
Peggy: Just make sure he knows that you two are good Catholics and that you're not living together in sin.
Molly: But I'm not and we are!
Peggy: Either call him by his Christian name, Jim, or his full name, James Douglas McAthur Biggs.
Molly: Jim it is.
Do you really want to raise a child in a house with your mom and sister? His first birthday will be at the Betty Ford Clinic!
Joyce: Remember when I took you kids to the circus, and we saw that big bear on a unicycle?
Molly: Yeah...what does that have to do with anything?
Joyce: Beats me. It just popped into my head.
Mike: I'm the kind of guy that likes to think things through.
Carl: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.
When you go on vacation it's kind of a vacation for all of us.
Molly: You're doing a great job of sticking to your diet, sweetie.
Mike: Well, since you're set on me wearing white tux at the wedding, I'd rather look like refrigerator than a milk truck.
You don't need to sweat the vows. I've heard you wax poetic for 20 minutes about a chunk of lasagna.
Carl
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm getting married in three months, and I've got squat. I don't remember writing any of this.
Did I dream this, or last night were you drunk in the backyard throwing a knife at a tree?
Victoria [to Molly]
Carl: If I die before you and you have to write my eulogy, compare me to chicken piccata.
Mike: Done.
Mike: I got overexcited. It was my birthday.
Peggy: Barf-day is more like it.
