Joss: You and Wilson? Calista, why didn't you tell me?
Calista: Because it's embarrassing. I know what a huge hypocrite that makes me look like. And I didn't want it to affect the way you see me.
Joss: Whoa, I'm Joss. I don't judge.

I just think when you really love someone, you can't be with anyone else.

Joss [to Calista]

Yeah well, sometimes hurting someone else doesn't always take away your own hurt.

Joss [to Calista]

Karen: I have deep feelings for you two, but if this all falls apart, who am I kidding, when this all falls apart, you two will still have each other. But where does that leave me?
Alec: Karen.
Vivian: Honey.
Karen: I'll always be the one that has to knock on the door.

Luca: Calista, you look lovely.
Calista: You look old and sallow.

Monkeys will fly out of my ass before I go to a church mixer.


Calista: If you two are meant to be together, you'll end up together. The best way to get over a man, is to get under another one.
Joss: You should stitch that on a pillow, that's really good.

Joss: Oh, God! Oh my God, what are you doing?
Calista: Choosing a window to jump from!

Karen: Have you ever been in something like this before?
Joss: Threesomes? Honey, I invented them.

Why does everything have to be so hard?


I'm sorry, am I being too loud for you? I can fix that.

Joss [to Harry]

I hope it was worth it.

Scott [to Joss]

Mistresses Quotes

Customer: Is this the sexy sheet section?
April: This is the satin section. What's sexy to one person is a slippery elbow in the face to someone else.

Savi: Where's your wedding ring?
Harry: It's in my pocket.
Savi: Put it on.