Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Modern Family Quotes
Haley: Don't dork up our room.
Alex: Don't slut up your college.
Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.
[Jay and Manny watching Miracle on 34th Street]
Manny: Are you crying?
Jay: What are you, a robot? It's a deeply emotional movie.
Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote.
Phil
Claire: Oh thank God, here comes Phil and the butterball.
Manny: Hey, I have a name!!
Mitchell: Ahhh we have been together for, guh, five-- five years now? And uh we-- we just decided that we really wanted to have a baby. So we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate but--
Cameron: Then we figured, they're already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant?
Mitchell: Don't think so.
Cameron: No thank you, ick!
Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.
Claire: I got pregnant with Haley.
Phil: My bad!
I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?
Phil
Whatever they were doing, Dad was winning.
Luke [on seeing his parents having sex]
Haley: Did my 3rd grade teacher say I have ADD or something.
Claire: No honey she said you couldn't A-D-D because she also knew you couldn't S-P-E-L-L.
Why do I almost always kill my husbands? I will never forget you, Jay!
Gloria
