The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.

Jay

• Permalink: The minute they got rid of rotary phones, everything went to hell.
• Added: February 25, 2015

Wait, I just thought of something! I’m going to be the first woman in my family not to get pregnant and drop out of college.

Alex

• Permalink: Wait, I just thought of something! I’m going to be the first woman in my family not to get...
• Added: February 25, 2015

Let's review. She's been moody, eating weird food, getting nauseous. She left in the middle of the night for a wedding chapel in Vegas with her secret love, and most suspicious of all, she bought a book!

Claire

• Permalink: Let's review. She's been moody, eating weird food, getting nauseous. She left in the middle...
• Added: February 25, 2015

Haley got married? She is in so much trouble!

Luke

• Permalink: Haley got married? She is in so much trouble!
• Added: February 25, 2015

How'd you get in my phone? Does this mean that when we talked the other day, you knew I was in the can?

Jay

• Permalink: How'd you get in my phone? Does this mean that when we talked the other day, you knew I was...
• Added: February 25, 2015

Claire: I asked you to clean up the kitchen nine hours ago when I left for work. I come back and it's the exact same mess PLUS pickles and peanut butter.
Haley: I was running around doing stuff for my crazy boss all day, and then I got hungry, and then the smell from the garbage almost made me throw up!

• Permalink: I was running around doing stuff for my crazy boss all day, and then I got hungry, and then...
• Added: February 25, 2015

Claire: Phil, honey, when I’m not home I need you to be present and keep track of everyone.
Phil: Sounds good. Love you too.

• Permalink: Sounds good. Love you too.
• Added: February 25, 2015