My wife took 50% of my stuff and left 100% of my kids.

Ted

• Permalink: My wife took 50% of my stuff and left 100% of my kids.
• Added: February 08, 2012

Good to see you Betty Luke.

Phil [to Luke]

• Permalink: Good to see you Betty Luke.
• Added: February 08, 2012

I know it's stupid, but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll fight for me and all I have to do is laugh at some other guy's story.

Claire

• Permalink: I know it's stupid, but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll ...
• Added: February 08, 2012

You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can make her laugh.

Phil

• Permalink: You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can ma...
• Added: February 08, 2012

I know you can't tell by looking at me, but I'm not a natural homemaker.

Gloria

• Permalink: I know you can't tell by looking at me, but I'm not a natural ho...
• Added: February 08, 2012

Cam, our shared bathroom is not the place to work out whatever's going on here!

Manny

• Permalink: Cam, our shared bathroom is not the place to work out whatever's...
• Added: February 08, 2012

I think somebody has a man crush.

Alex

• Permalink: I think somebody has a man crush.
• Added: February 08, 2012

He got divorced and his whole life opened up. Guy's living the dream.

Phil

• Permalink: He got divorced and his whole life opened up. Guy's living the d...
• Added: February 08, 2012