Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!

• Permalink: I’m gonna have nightmares!
• Added: January 23, 2014

I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?

Manny [to Jay]

• Permalink: I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?
• Added: January 23, 2014

Oh please. He slips in and out of that accent like Kate Winslet in Titanic.

Mitchell [about Cam]

• Permalink: Oh please. He slips in and out of that accent like Kate Winslet in Titanic.
• Added: January 23, 2014

Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!

• Permalink: I hope you weren’t!
• Added: January 23, 2014

We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.

Cam

• Permalink: We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.
• Added: January 23, 2014

Look, I have no problem drinking. I can literally do it standing on my head. But A ,not with my parents. Plus also I needed to stay sharp because they were obviously up to something and I was in no mood. I barely got 10 hours of sleep last night.

Haley

• Permalink: Look, I have no problem drinking. I can literally do it standing on my head. But A ,not with...
• Added: January 23, 2014

Phil: He seems like a real go-getter huh?
Haley: Why cause he goes and gets things?

• Permalink: Why cause he goes and gets things?
• Added: January 23, 2014

Is this what you’re gonna do with your life? Sleep late and take a selfie?

Claire [Haley]

• Permalink: Is this what you’re gonna do with your life? Sleep late and take a selfie?
• Added: January 23, 2014