Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Quotes
Mitchell: Just the emerald city at the end of my yellow brick road
Cameron: Wow you did it
Mitchell: What?
Cameron: You made figure skating sound even gayer.
We were called "Fire and Nice." I was "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't.
Mitchell
Mitchell: You always take this a little too far. Your nephew's first birthday.
Cameron: That's not fair.
Mitchell: You brought a wind machine.
Cameron: Who puts wheels on cribs?
Jay: When I first heard Manny wanted to fence I was like sure, uncoordinated kid, lethal weapon, how could this go wrong?
Gloria: What do you think now?
Jay: I'm proud of our little Zorro
Alex: Did you know fencing goes back to the 12th century?
Haley: You know what's even nerdier than fencing? knowing when it began
Luke: I don't think you're a nerd, Alex
Alex: Shut up dork
Gloria [about Manny]: It's in his blood. His father was a master swordsman. He was an artist with his sword! I mean, the way he throws the sword, I mean, he was legendary
Jay: You know it's a nice moment I'm having with your son, you're kind of wrecking it
Gloria: Children need to know that you believe in them; it's the most important thing. If you tell them they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
Jay: Oh really? I had a buddy that went to Woodstock, believed he could fly, didn't end great. That's why hotels' windows don't open anymore
Cameron [in a high-pitched voice]: I swear to God Im gonna break it!
Jay: Do not break the window, you're gonna get glass on her
Woman [on the phone]: Sir, please tell your wife to calm down, everything's gonna be okay.
Jay: That's a man
Woman: Really?
Claire: Getting everybody out of the house in the morning can be really tough. Especially the first day of school.
Phil: From the moment we get up at seven until we drop them off at school it is: go go go.
Claire: I get up at six.
Phil [mocking]: I get up at five.
Claire: Seriously, I get up at six.
Phil: That's you? I thought we had a racoon
I am loose. I'm fun. Remember breakfast for dinner last week? My idea
Mitchell
Claire: Phil, let it go, I'm faster than you
Phil: If only there was some way we could settle this once and for all, but how?
Claire: You seriously want to race me? I ran a half-marathon last year
Phil: Okay, I'm half scared
Claire: Okay, we do need to do this. I'll go change
The poncho by itself is fine. The poncho plus the flute plus the stupid dance? My son will die a virgin
Gloria
