We had a fire drill last night. Not the hotel. Just me and Manny.

Luke

Manny's the worst roommate ever. Everything he finds, he folds.

Luke

Phil: Just to be clear, I'm not condoning eating your kids, but I sure as heck know why giraffes do it.
Claire: What?!?

There she is. The prettiest white woman on Maui.

Phil

Score, this place has an iron in the closet!

Manny [in his Hawaiian hotel room]

Look at him getting coffee and not putting chocolate in it! He's so mature!

Haley

I have an uncle that can only wear bell-bottoms. Hand to God.

Cam

Cam: People always say I scream Hawaii.
Mitchell: Who says that?
Cam: People...
Mitchell: What people?
Cam: ...You don't know them.

I'm just a boy trying to bring style back to travel.

Manny

Could you make it a double? I'm traveling with my family.

Jay

A Realtor's just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I'm completely clueless.

Phil

This is a coup. When you get in with Jasper, doors open. He's a legacy at Happy Time Preschool.

Cameron

Modern Family Season 1 Quotes

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me

You know how growing up we all have that voice inside our head that tells us we're not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school

Claire [on her mother]