Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.

Why hug when you can manshake?


I have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worst case scenario, they all go!


I know you were reluctant to get that massage, but I think we can both agree it had a happy ending.


You have your fans, I have mine. And one day, your fans are gonna work for my fans.

Alex [to Haley]

Mitchell is turning Gloria into mom.


Uncle Cam, as her future prom date can you please talk to her? You know fashion and stuff.

Haley [about Alex]

Let me burn your clothes!

Haley [to Alex]

You gotta grab what you can, when you can.


The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.


I can't take another farm story.

Jay [to Cam]

I sleep clown.


Modern Family Season 3 Quotes

Look I'm the horse whisperer but something is making this one skittish!

Gloria [screaming]

Cam: You hate her sparkly outfit, don't you?
Mitchell: No I told you it was fine, I just didn't like you wearing a matching one.