Wait they're allowed up there? They're wearing dungarees!

Jay

Nice robe, like Hef back in the day. I'm gonna cut to the chase. I like your lifestyle, I want a taste of it.

Jay [to Langham]

Cam: You wanna tell me how you accidentally gave someone your key?
Mitchell: You wanna tell me why you spent all day sipping tequila out of some guy's navel?
Cam: You saw that?
Mitchell: I guessed!

Vegas you have a gambling problem and her name is Claire.

Claire

Whoa that warmer drawer really works. It's like my mom's hugging my feet again.

Phil

We will be maintaining our dignity in the spa, thank you.

Mitchell

Oh my gosh, an actual gay agenda.

Cam

Hey luxury bathroom, it's me lowly closet. Watch your back.

Jay

Excuse me, how much is that doggie in the window?

Gloria

I am my father's daughter, and sorta his son.

Claire

I love film-making and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film and I love doing it by myself.

Phil

Cam: Do you feel what's happening here?
Mitchell: I feel pinching!
Cam: I'm the weak link in the super-group.

Modern Family Season 5 Quotes

I know how it works. I rented the wrong movie once. Did you see Glenn Gary Glenn and Ross?

Gloria

If he doesn't go to Columbia, Columbia comes to me.

Jay