McGee: Abby, this email came through two minutes ago.
Tony: Two minutes is two years in Abby time. You know that.

Bishop: When my grandma died, it helped me just to talk about her. Maybe you guys could tell me what Jackson was like.
Abby: He gave the best hugs.
McGee: He was the only one that could the Gibbs stare at Gibbs.
Tony: With those icy blue eyes. He gave me the sweater off his back once. White. Two functional pockets. Very soft.

Vance: I was respecting your situation, Gibbs. Let's not turn this into something else.
Gibbs: I don't need to be handled.
Vance: Your head is not here.
Gibbs: Don't tell me where my head is at. I am here, director. I am on this.
Vance: What did you say to me after Jackie died? What did you tell me to do? I was out for two months.
Gibbs: That was different.
Vance: It's been half a day, Gibbs. He was your father.
Gibbs: He was, and now he's dead. And I still have a job to do.
Vance: And I didn't?
Gibbs: I am not you.
Vance: As director of this agency, I'm placing you on administrative leave. As your friend I'm telling you to get the hell out of here before you say something I can't let go.
Gibbs: Leon. This job. It's all I have. Don't ever tell my team to hold out on me again.

Man I wish I could have seen Rivera's face when Gibbs laid the smack down. You think he had a little chin quiver going on? I love a good bad guy chin quiver.

Tony

Diane: You guys are buddies now?
Gibbs: Yeah. We were thinking of starting a club.
Diane: Yeah? Well watch it, boys. I know something about each and every one of you, that you don't want anybody else to know. And I got a Twitter account.

Bishop: I mean, I might have a better idea. Look, Eddie is coming back. If he was ditching his car, there are easier places to abandon it than at an airport. We should put it back and watch it. And when he comes to pick it up----
Gibbs: We grab him.
Bishop: Absolutely not. We follow him, see what he does, where he goes, then we grab him.
Gibbs: Works for me.

Bishop: I took the liberty of reading the Handbook of Autopsy Practice this weekend.
Palmer: The whole thing? That's over 600 pages.
Bishop: It's 596 actually. It was really cool.

Fornell: Wait a sec. How exactly do you know about your mother and me?
Emily: I know everything. I put a keystroke logger on both of your Facebook accounts.

McGee: You know it's hard to imagine the same woman liking Fornell and this Eddie guy. Although, maybe Diane liked him because he's not Fornell.
Fornell: Best leave the psychoanalysis to Duckie. If you value breathing.

Tony: Wow. Wowsers.
Diane: This is not what it looks like.
Fornell: Right. We were just...
Gibbs: No. I do not need the details.
Tony: I wouldn't mind a few details.

His chest is bigger than Diane's.

Fornell

Life isn't always perfect, you know? But sometimes things would work out for the best if you just had faith.

Abby

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?