NCIS
Mondays 8:00 PM on CBSPopular NCIS Quotes
Mr. Lewis: Anything else?
Torres: You should pay more attention to your star pupils. Top of the class, here [nods toward McGee].
Bishop: I swear, McGee, your case summaries read more like a good book.
McGee: Thank you. I try to do more than just the backspin.
Bishop: This one is a real page-turner -- it's got mood, intrigue, emotion.
Torres: And a typo. Either that or you misspelled a word. Either way, I caught it.
McGee: Which word is that?
Torres: Weather. As in, "Our agents did the best to weather the storm."
Bishop: I see it! You spelled it "w h" as in "whether or not."
Torres: When, in fact, it should be "w e" as in, "how's the weather?"
McGee: Or as in, "I doubt whether anyone would care either way."
Torres: I care. Am I just anyone?
Bishop: And there is a third way, "w e th" as in bellwether, as in castrated ram.
McGee: Why would anyone say "we'll castrated ram this storm?"
Bishop: I'm just pointing out the nuances of the English language.
Ed: This was a bear.
Palmer: What?
Ed: Say it was a bear, please. I promise you, Jimmy, it's a matter of life and death. Call it a bear, please.
Palmer: I can't believe I just lied to Gibbs. And for what?
Ed: Pancakes! Did you ever have pancakes for lunch?
McGee [to Bishop]: Wait, did you say meadow muffins?
Gibbs [walking by]: Cut the crap!
Palmer: I knew the second that I told him that he knew. Worse off, he knows that I know that he knows.
Torres: Well, you know that he knows, he knows that ... never mind. Why did you lie?
Palmer: I may not run NCIS, but make no mistake, I could have a team of agents down here within a matter of minutes.
Peter: You're already in way too deep or else there would be agents here already.
Gibbs: Then how? You and Palmer were the last to see the dry cleaner alive.
Ed: Yeah, but you know we didn't do it. [pause] Don't you?
Ed: Hey, Stevie has had challenged you know nothing about. Not everyone is born with your sunny disposition, unencumbered by darkness.
Palmer: Unencumbered. Is that what you think of me? You think that I just came into this world whistling rainbows?
Damn place gets me every time.
DiNozzo Senior
One thing I am certain of, my future will no longer include NCIS. Jethro, I've done all I have to do. It's time for Dr. Palmer to be the permanent Chief Medical Examiner. I'm sorry. Goodnight.
Ducky
Let me make myself perfectly clear. If either of you interferes with the operations of this boat, I will fire you out of that torpedo tube myself.
Submarine Man
