Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.

Forty-one years in the Navy, I have never surrendered to the enemy. I’m not about to start now!

Admiral Chase

Bottom line, O’Leary killed two people over some really ugly flooring.

Quinn

You, me, Henry. We’re all the same guy. You’re just a few decades behind.

Gibbs [to Reeves]

Ah, there it is. The classic Jethro look of query and frustration, mixed with a dash of “Someone is gonna pay for this.”

Ducky

Bishop, if I spent any time underneath that man, I would have been crushed by his ego!

Quinn [about Torres]

Would you like to sit at my desk while you’re thinking above your pay grade?

Vance

Vance: Officer Reeves, MI-6 has made it abundantly clear they want you back.
Reeves: When do I leave, sir?
Vance [beat]: You forgot to mention how parting is such sweet sorrow.

Bishop: Mr. Rogers--
Henry Rogers: I’ve told you twice, it’s Henry! I’ve nothing in common with that sweater-wearing pacifist!

Bishop: If it did happen, and that is a big “if,” I wonder if Top Gun beach volleyball was involved, because I can totally picture Torres running around the sand in tight jeans…
Gibbs: Fantasize on your own time, Bishop!

Congresswoman Flemming: Oh, Gibbs, you’re here!
Gibbs: Yes. I work here.

Ducky: How time flies when one has a bio-anthropological phenomenon on one’s table.
Gibbs: Yeah? I thought it was just an old dead guy.

NCIS Quotes

Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.