Light me up, Lord of the Tickets. It's story time.

Tony

Careful, Mr. Palmer. Gastric acid can cut a hole right through your foot.

Ducky

Palmer: Doctor. Doctor. In case your plan, as brilliant as it is, doesn't work....
Ducky: Likewise, Mr....Jimmy.

Palmer: I would rather take a stand than get shot in the back.
Ducky: Likewise.

Palmer: Oh my God.
Ducky: What?
Palmer: I just realized that I missed my nine-month wedding anniversary. Breena's going to kill me.
Ducky: You do know I have a heart condition.

Doctor, I respect you more than anyone in the world, so please forgive me when I say - go to hell. I'm not leaving you.

Palmer

Tony: ...but lucky for us we've got morning check-ins, email chain letters. Hey - international coffees of the week.
McGee: Yeah that Indonesian Wildboar blend was pretty bitter.
Tony: Bitter. Coffee almost killed me. Seriously, that's dangerous stuff. It's like putting a hot poker up my bum.

Gibbs: He's all alone, Duck.
Ducky: Yes well death will have that effect.
Gibbs: I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about Director Vance.
Ducky: He needs time, Jethro. You know that better than anyone.
Gibbs: The hardest part is after.
Ducky: And you worry he may get stuck there, in the after.
Gibbs: I worry he'll get stuck, period.

Craig: Leon. Good to see you. I didn't know you're coming by for a visit.
Vance: I'm not visiting, I'm here to work.
Craig: Oh, okay. Let me just grab some things from your office...
Vance: No need. I'll be down here. With them.

Tony: So is he back for good?
Gibbs: I don't know.
Tony: But he's not Director Vance. So he's Agent Vance. Would that make him Probie Vance?
Gibbs: DiNozzo. Enough, okay?

Drop the bone Mr. Kang. You're coming with us. [Aside to Gibbs] Look at the size of that guy.

Tony

You could totally rock an eye patch Gibbs. And that's not important.

Abby

NCIS Quotes

‘You think you’re alone in the dark. Close your eyes. Remember everything good.’ My mom said that to me just before she died. Smart lady.

Gibbs

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.