Don't ask about the duffle bag, bitch!

Edgar's mom

Oh my God, there's two of them!

Nick

I love you, Jessica--God, it feels good to say that out loud, and not just to my sleeping wife.

Berkley

Panty Hawk! I'd watch that show!

Coach

You show up sick, you might as well be dead.

Schmidt

That's more like dork magic.

Nick

They're just boobs!

Nick

Schmidt: Oh good lord! I'm marrying Nick.
Jess: Duh.

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Why are you putting spoons in the laundry hamper?

Schmidt

I really just want to get in there and ush this wedding in the face!

Winston

You what's fly? Cleaning is fly. Cleaning's cool dude.

Nick

It's not a perfect system Jess, but it's mine ok? And it's private.

Nick

New Girl Quotes

I know this isn't gonna end well, but the middle part is gonna be awesome.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach