Tough time in Schmidtsburgh.

Schmidt

You're the deer! He wants to kill you! You're the deer!

Nick

I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.

Jess

Nick: I believe horses are from outer space--
Jess: I believe that, too!

Coach: Do people call you 'Marketing'?
Schmidt: No...not yet...

Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or somethng?

Jess

If we make love later, and I tell you to pretend that I'm a scary ghost, are you gonna be weirded out by that?

Bearclaw

Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis.

Schmidt

What's going on? Why is the cast of The Social Network in our apartment?

Jess

Schmidt: You consider me a sexy man, correct?
Jess: I don't know how to answer that question

Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?

Jess

Just be yourself, and if he’s not into Jessica Day, there’s something wrong with him.

Nick

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

My whole life is you.

Schmidt